Bad-mama-of-the-year award goes to ...

 A column I wrote, not used by the Herald-Times, so just sharing with friends.

This column was written by Lynne Foster Shifriss of Bloomington.

There is a girl in New York City
Who calls herself the human trampoline
And sometimes when I’m falling, flying
Or tumbling in turmoil I say
Whoa, so this is what she means
She means we’re bouncing into Graceland ...
                                             -- Paul Simon

I often think of the above lyrics when I'm contemplating how far the actual me is from the person I want to be.
I think that is especially true of my role as mom to three kids.
 Jordie and I often say -- "Boy, we really lucked out with those kids!"
They're all IU graduates, working at jobs they can feel good about.
And I know some of it is luck. Possibly good DNA. But one thing it isn't is having had perfect parents.
This is one mama who made a heck of a lot of mistakes.
The kids actually do a little routine in which they mimic -- using first initials only -- a stream of curse words I supposedly shrieked at them. I used to be embarrassed but now I just say "If I did do that, you must have richly deserved it" or "It'll be good material for your therapist."
But the sometimes-too-quick temper was not the worst of it.
High on the list of ways I screwed up was my lack of organization.
In my professional life at the Herald-Times as assistant to the editor, features copy editor and early morning web mistress, I learned to juggle a myriad of tasks, prioritize, handle pressure and breaking news.
The very first morning I worked the early shift alone, there was a shooting. I heard it on the police scanner and snapped into automatic -- consulting with police, the editor at a sister paper, posting a short story to our website, Facebook, Twitter. Calling the editor at home, and the police reporter. Times like that were easy, work-wise. Common sense.
But the day-to-day stuff ... piled-up papers and too many unopened emails could be a real problem. I had to work to get better at organizing all the information.
At home, there was no boss to hold me accountable.
I never finished writing everything in their baby books.
Where's that paper? Probably in the pile on the dining room table.
A recipe? Just look it up on the iPhone.
I was the mom who carried a bag with wrapping paper, tape and scissors in my car trunk to take care of the birthday present we would buy at Target on the way to the party.
I once flew to New Jersey because of a death in our family. The kids -- all grown -- were to follow a day later, parking my mini-van at the airport. They had a little visit with a (luckily) sympathetic cop on the way, because I'd forgotten to renew my license plate.
Probably the worst thing I did, though, what really earns me that "bad mama" title, was to lose the kids' Social Security cards.
That has also been the source for comedy routines in our home.
Of course, as I said, the kids turned out all right. And our oldest is the most organized person I've ever met, which goes to show it's not genetic.
As others coo over a new baby, uttering wisdom like "Be sure and take a nap while the baby sleeps!" and "Don't worry, they all talk at different ages!" I've been known to give out this bit of advice: "Buy a file cabinet right now and use it!"

It's been a pleasure to be part of the newsroom gang

Lynne Foster Shifriss retired from The Herald-Times Friday. She was, in recent years, the editor of the Neighbors and Religion pages as well as webmistress in the early morning. She can be reached at lshifriss@yahoo.com.

Early July, 1995. I stood, shifting nervously from foot to foot. After all, I didn’t really belong in the middle of the H-T newsroom. I had been turned down there before for not having a journalism degree — mine was in English.

Still, I had always been interested. I had taken journalism classes in college, but was shy. When my dad, who worked in downtown Indy, spoke to “Old man Pulliam” of the Indianapolis Star about a summer job or internship, I could not bring myself to follow up on his offer to come over and talk.

For the couple of years before my interview at the H-T, I had been doing a paper delivery route in the country, out East Ind. 45 and Mount Gilead Road. A couple of fellow Harmony School moms who were artists told me that if I wanted time at home, which I did (to be with toddler Abby) doing a paper route was a great idea. And that did work out just fine. Good money. Driving around in the middle of the night, seeing owls, deer, bluebirds. Soaking in the quiet, so different from my daytime life. When a newsroom job came open, Tim Smith, head of Circulation, went upstairs and put in a good word for me with the big boss, H-T editor Bob Zaltsberg. And so I got an interview. And, a job.

At first, I was Shirley Bushey’s assistant in the library.

Over the years, after Shirley retired and I became full-time, I worked for Bob Z, processing letters to the editor and doing the editorial page. I became editor of the Neighbors and Religion pages. And the past few years, I have been the early morning webmistress, updating the H-T website and using Facebook and Twitter to spread news about road closings, weather, crime, school closings and more.

There are so many vivid memories. I was so proud to work at the H-T on that Sunday, July 4, 1999, when a Korean graduate student, Won-Joon Yoon, on his way into a church on East Third Street, was shot and killed by Benjamin Smith, a neo-Nazi. At the H-T, somewhere, there’s a photo of staffers working together — including Bob Z in his summer shorts — to get out an extra edition that terrible afternoon. “Hate Hits Home” was distributed later in the day, responding to a community’s need to know and to bond over shock and sadness.

Again, on that sunny September morning in 2001, when news spread that planes hit New York’s World Trade Center, H-T staff jumped into action to get accurate information out as quickly as possible, understanding the media’s role as part of the community. I remember employees standing silently in front of the cafeteria TV or the one in Bob Z’s office, then rushing off to work some more. Then back again, to stand silently and watch.

In smaller ways, too, I’ve felt pride to be part of the H-T newsroom. You don’t get much more “local” than the Neighbors page, with news submitted by readers about new babies, senior citizen birthdays, charitable contributions, upcoming events and more. I always figured that when something appeared on my Neighbors page, somebody was cutting it out and putting it on the fridge. And I liked that.

And my goal with the Religion page has been to reflect the diversity of faith in our area.

I’ve been happy and fulfilled with both of those missions. I wish I’d been able to do more.

I always wanted to reach out, to help local nonprofits and faith communities get their information into print and online — but at the paper, there’s always a deadline, and mine always seemed to be coming up too fast.

I could tell stories about many fine people I have worked with here. But you know who you are. It’s been a pleasure to be a part of the newsroom gang for almost 22 years.