Lest we forget the joy of the festive season, let's watch Hugh Grant boogie again in the holiday movie "Love Actually." (Hugh plays the prime minister of England.)
Friday, December 12, 2008
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Feeling good
Not only good, but giddily, happily, toe-wigglingly good! And it's not the Lortab speaking; I've taken much less of it today than I have daily for the last month. The only way I could survive lately was to be on steroids and Lortab. I have one herniated cervical disk; another three are merely "bulging disks." But hey, that's enough to cause excruciating (and I mean I would rather go through childbirth again rather than experience this) in my neck, shoulder and arm, with hand numb and tingling. So that I would be sitting at my desk, holding my arm to try and stop the pain, trying to work.
The other day, after I had run out of the painkiller, I could feel myself at work, feeling distant from my tasks, slipping away mentally because the pain was just so intense. I was really losing it.
However, my visit (and Jordie came, because I asked him to) to Dr. Marshall Poor, really defied my expectations. He's a neurosurgeon, but he did not push me into surgery. Instead, we are trying drugs and physical therapy, and seeing how I do. Maybe the situation will be healed with just that.
And walking through our living room and kitchen, it is such a good memory to think of friends from the renewal group at synagogue being here yesterday morning. It makes me smile to think of Carolyn swinging on our porch swing. And sitting on our back porch talking and enjoying the great food from the potluck...and the wonderful service which Bruce David led...a golden morning. And guess what? Both Jordie and I were not well enough to do things which we would normally do if company were coming: the back yard grass was not cut recently, the bathroom was not cleaned, the bedroom had laundry baskets full of clothes. And, I think nobody cared.
I am not allowing the tense situation in my volunteer life to devour me anymore. I am just not. I was defensive and sad and angry and just eaten up with it. It had to do with personnel decisions. It was awful. And sad. But now, I'm just not consumed. Everyone involved is a grownup. People make decisions. From those come more decisions. We did what we had to do in that situation and it's time to move on from it.
And to move on from this dreadful month of pain. Thank God for this new drug, Lyrica, that Dr. Poor put me on. I have no pain in my arm. I feel like me. Hallejeujah.
Well, last night I WAS too out of it to be at Lotus Festival with Jordie. I had to ask him to bring me home, and then he went back to Lotus by himself. I was just dizzy and out of it. But I had just started on the new drug Friday and I was not used to it. It was making me dizzy and drowsy, and with the Lortab, which can also do that...it was too much. Jordie brought me home and I fell asleep in the chair, still in my clothes, and stayed that way all night.
But today, I didn't have to take nearly as much Lortab. And I haven't felt nearly as dizzy and drowsy. Really, it's like a miracle. I am so grateful for everything good in my life right now. As Grandma used to say "Thank God for a normal day."
The other day, after I had run out of the painkiller, I could feel myself at work, feeling distant from my tasks, slipping away mentally because the pain was just so intense. I was really losing it.
However, my visit (and Jordie came, because I asked him to) to Dr. Marshall Poor, really defied my expectations. He's a neurosurgeon, but he did not push me into surgery. Instead, we are trying drugs and physical therapy, and seeing how I do. Maybe the situation will be healed with just that.
And walking through our living room and kitchen, it is such a good memory to think of friends from the renewal group at synagogue being here yesterday morning. It makes me smile to think of Carolyn swinging on our porch swing. And sitting on our back porch talking and enjoying the great food from the potluck...and the wonderful service which Bruce David led...a golden morning. And guess what? Both Jordie and I were not well enough to do things which we would normally do if company were coming: the back yard grass was not cut recently, the bathroom was not cleaned, the bedroom had laundry baskets full of clothes. And, I think nobody cared.
I am not allowing the tense situation in my volunteer life to devour me anymore. I am just not. I was defensive and sad and angry and just eaten up with it. It had to do with personnel decisions. It was awful. And sad. But now, I'm just not consumed. Everyone involved is a grownup. People make decisions. From those come more decisions. We did what we had to do in that situation and it's time to move on from it.
And to move on from this dreadful month of pain. Thank God for this new drug, Lyrica, that Dr. Poor put me on. I have no pain in my arm. I feel like me. Hallejeujah.
Well, last night I WAS too out of it to be at Lotus Festival with Jordie. I had to ask him to bring me home, and then he went back to Lotus by himself. I was just dizzy and out of it. But I had just started on the new drug Friday and I was not used to it. It was making me dizzy and drowsy, and with the Lortab, which can also do that...it was too much. Jordie brought me home and I fell asleep in the chair, still in my clothes, and stayed that way all night.
But today, I didn't have to take nearly as much Lortab. And I haven't felt nearly as dizzy and drowsy. Really, it's like a miracle. I am so grateful for everything good in my life right now. As Grandma used to say "Thank God for a normal day."
Sunday, September 28, 2008
love and politics
Our daughter Amalia and her honey, David Hamilton "with our Obama/McCain cookies from Portos, our favorite bakery. [in Los Angeles] They are keeping a poll there as to how many of each cookies sells."
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Friday, September 05, 2008
What a week!
Sitting in my little office, feeling about as happy as can be, listening to the crickets. It's cool tonight; the windows are open. Jordie is in his office, putzing around, and Abby at a friend's house for a while.
Shabbat Shalom.
Shabbat peace.
It's so real I can almost hold it in my hand.
And it feels so good that, well, I could almost get tears in my eyes. So good to be here and now.
So now, with Diana Krall's Live in Paris album playing on iTunes, I'll relax for a few minutes and tell you all about it...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last week, I went to the walk-in clinic at Internal Medicine Associates. My neck, shoulder and arm were so painful. It made me think of an episode last winter when I had actually gone to the emergency room on a Friday night, after a 12-hour day of working at my computer intensely. I was afraid, at that time, that I might be having symptoms of a heart attack. They tested me, no heart problems, and I got an ergonomic keyboard at my office and took my "back chair" to work.
But then, it started recently to happen again. At IMA last week, they gave me a cortisone shot and told me to stretch and take ibuprophen. That was Tuesday.
By last Friday, my neck, shoulder and arm were so painful that I could not stand it. I was literally clutching my arm all the time, sometimes with tears in my eyes. I took ibuprophen. I used heat. I used ice. My arm felt as if it were on fire, all the way down to the hand, which was numb.
I think that probably a contributing factor was a very tense situation that I have been involved in lately, not at work but in a volunteer capacity. The situation made my heart ache, took a huge amount of time, and made me angry. I had to go to a meeting last Friday involving that situation and the pain was so intense I could hardly bear it. And I could hardly bear going to my meeting, either.
Just at the end of my meeting, I was told that Jordie had thrown out his back while teaching at Gan Shalom, the preschool at our synagogue, Beth Shalom. I drove him home. He had to crawl part-way into our house, he was in so much pain. I left him lying on the bed in my little office, with a sandwich, drink and the remote. I returned to work.
But after a while, my pages were almost done and I couldn't ignore the pain. I returned to IMA, where they gave me a steroid shot and a shot of Demerol. I was not allowed to drive home after that, so my friend Didi came and drove me home. I had to leave the car there. And Jordie's car was left at Beth Shalom!
Anne Steigerwald brought dinner over to us that night, and visited.
I started taking Prednisone and Lortab. The Lortab really affected me. I can barely walk down the stairs while on that stuff. And I drove to Kroger's on Sunday because we really needed a few things, and almost hit a car. So, for a few days after that, I took the meds and laid low at home! I was so out of it that a dear friend of mine, Vicki, had a death in her family, and I haven't even seen her yet...(but we're going to see Mamma Mia! together tomorrow afternoon...)
Tuesday I had an MRI. I didn't like being in that tube during the MRI, and especially with the loud banging sounds. I fantasized that I was in Times Square with Leslie and our old friend Kathie Mahoney, who lives in Manhattan. I thought, "OK, there's a jackhammer going, but we're headed for the half-price ticket booth to see what Broadway show we can get tickets for tonight..." I fantasized really hard. And the MRI lasted for about 45 minutes.
To top it off, Jordie has been recovering, slowly, from his severe back strain. And Abby has been sick with a bug this week as well.
The next day, I learned that the MRI showed I have four "bulging discs," numbers C4-7. I have an appointment with a neurosurgeon, but not till Oct. 3. Until then, I'm to avoid lifting heavy things, stretch a lot, take ibuprophen and finish my course of Prednisone. And get more if I need it.
But I've made an appointment with Jim Shoemaker, a wonderful osteopath, for Saturday. He's done wonders for my back before, and I'm hopeful that I can avoid having surgery...
I'm also going to get Jordie to start doing an official chi-gong class with me at least once per week.
I'm going to eat sensibly, and come home and take a rest in the middle of the day. And get back to walking with Malinda and Sue and other friends who want to...
I felt, today, even though I have stopped taking the Lortab, that I was walking, and even thinking, as if moving through mud. I skipped having lunch. I worked till almost 8:30 p.m. So that was a lesson, because now I am sore and achy.
Though it was a long day, I came home and there was some delicious vegetable dish that Jordie made last night in the fridge, so I put a bit of cheese of top and nuked it, then sprinkled it with red pepper flakes and Jordie and I sat down together at our kitchen table at 8:45 p.m., looked at each other and smiled and said "Shabbat Shalom," then proceeded to relax and watch PBS and eat.
This week has also been full of worry and tension about the aforementioned situation, but I have done my best to stay clear, to only say what I really mean...I have given in to defensiveness and anger at times, but am being very conscious of trying to keep issues clear and work through them, one at a time.
And I am sitting here thinking that life, at this moment, is pretty good. I am lucky to be who I am, lucky to be where I am, lucky to have the friends and family that I have, lucky to have learned some things that helped me through this week -- in physical and mental and emotional challenges -- and look forward to learning more, look forward to being more disciplined about my exercise and my weight and my state of mind.
Shabbat Shalom. Good night.
Shabbat Shalom.
Shabbat peace.
It's so real I can almost hold it in my hand.
And it feels so good that, well, I could almost get tears in my eyes. So good to be here and now.
So now, with Diana Krall's Live in Paris album playing on iTunes, I'll relax for a few minutes and tell you all about it...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last week, I went to the walk-in clinic at Internal Medicine Associates. My neck, shoulder and arm were so painful. It made me think of an episode last winter when I had actually gone to the emergency room on a Friday night, after a 12-hour day of working at my computer intensely. I was afraid, at that time, that I might be having symptoms of a heart attack. They tested me, no heart problems, and I got an ergonomic keyboard at my office and took my "back chair" to work.
But then, it started recently to happen again. At IMA last week, they gave me a cortisone shot and told me to stretch and take ibuprophen. That was Tuesday.
By last Friday, my neck, shoulder and arm were so painful that I could not stand it. I was literally clutching my arm all the time, sometimes with tears in my eyes. I took ibuprophen. I used heat. I used ice. My arm felt as if it were on fire, all the way down to the hand, which was numb.
I think that probably a contributing factor was a very tense situation that I have been involved in lately, not at work but in a volunteer capacity. The situation made my heart ache, took a huge amount of time, and made me angry. I had to go to a meeting last Friday involving that situation and the pain was so intense I could hardly bear it. And I could hardly bear going to my meeting, either.
Just at the end of my meeting, I was told that Jordie had thrown out his back while teaching at Gan Shalom, the preschool at our synagogue, Beth Shalom. I drove him home. He had to crawl part-way into our house, he was in so much pain. I left him lying on the bed in my little office, with a sandwich, drink and the remote. I returned to work.
But after a while, my pages were almost done and I couldn't ignore the pain. I returned to IMA, where they gave me a steroid shot and a shot of Demerol. I was not allowed to drive home after that, so my friend Didi came and drove me home. I had to leave the car there. And Jordie's car was left at Beth Shalom!
Anne Steigerwald brought dinner over to us that night, and visited.
I started taking Prednisone and Lortab. The Lortab really affected me. I can barely walk down the stairs while on that stuff. And I drove to Kroger's on Sunday because we really needed a few things, and almost hit a car. So, for a few days after that, I took the meds and laid low at home! I was so out of it that a dear friend of mine, Vicki, had a death in her family, and I haven't even seen her yet...(but we're going to see Mamma Mia! together tomorrow afternoon...)
Tuesday I had an MRI. I didn't like being in that tube during the MRI, and especially with the loud banging sounds. I fantasized that I was in Times Square with Leslie and our old friend Kathie Mahoney, who lives in Manhattan. I thought, "OK, there's a jackhammer going, but we're headed for the half-price ticket booth to see what Broadway show we can get tickets for tonight..." I fantasized really hard. And the MRI lasted for about 45 minutes.
To top it off, Jordie has been recovering, slowly, from his severe back strain. And Abby has been sick with a bug this week as well.
The next day, I learned that the MRI showed I have four "bulging discs," numbers C4-7. I have an appointment with a neurosurgeon, but not till Oct. 3. Until then, I'm to avoid lifting heavy things, stretch a lot, take ibuprophen and finish my course of Prednisone. And get more if I need it.
But I've made an appointment with Jim Shoemaker, a wonderful osteopath, for Saturday. He's done wonders for my back before, and I'm hopeful that I can avoid having surgery...
I'm also going to get Jordie to start doing an official chi-gong class with me at least once per week.
I'm going to eat sensibly, and come home and take a rest in the middle of the day. And get back to walking with Malinda and Sue and other friends who want to...
I felt, today, even though I have stopped taking the Lortab, that I was walking, and even thinking, as if moving through mud. I skipped having lunch. I worked till almost 8:30 p.m. So that was a lesson, because now I am sore and achy.
Though it was a long day, I came home and there was some delicious vegetable dish that Jordie made last night in the fridge, so I put a bit of cheese of top and nuked it, then sprinkled it with red pepper flakes and Jordie and I sat down together at our kitchen table at 8:45 p.m., looked at each other and smiled and said "Shabbat Shalom," then proceeded to relax and watch PBS and eat.
This week has also been full of worry and tension about the aforementioned situation, but I have done my best to stay clear, to only say what I really mean...I have given in to defensiveness and anger at times, but am being very conscious of trying to keep issues clear and work through them, one at a time.
And I am sitting here thinking that life, at this moment, is pretty good. I am lucky to be who I am, lucky to be where I am, lucky to have the friends and family that I have, lucky to have learned some things that helped me through this week -- in physical and mental and emotional challenges -- and look forward to learning more, look forward to being more disciplined about my exercise and my weight and my state of mind.
Shabbat Shalom. Good night.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
A day hanging out together
We really, really needed to just hang out. It has been a good, but very busy, last few weeks. And yesterday was our 27th anniversary. So we went to the Muscatatuck wildlife refuge with Abby and spent hours hiking, looking at birds, flowers, checking to see if we could spot any river otters...(but we didn't). But it was VERY GOOD not to have anything more important to do than look for river otters. I've posted some photos below from our relaxed day...and we decided that we have to X out days on our calendar way ahead of time, so that we can spend more time like that, just being. And being together.
At the little gift shop, Abby and I discovered Jabebo earrings and I highly recommend you check out their website, which is nearly as delightful as the earrings themselves! They are earrings with nature or science themes, made from cereal box cardboard. They are for sale at many nature center giftshops, or you can buy them from the website itself. The earrings are different, but complementary.
For instance, check out the daisy earrings I bought -- one has a little bee on it!
Abby got the hummingbirds earrings.
We should have gotten the great blue heron earrings, becuase we saw lots of those...
They even have earrings of elements from the periodic table, like these of neon.
And paramecium and amoeba! And bats! And dragonflies! And butterfies! And owls! Very unique and fun! And only $10! I want more!
At the little gift shop, Abby and I discovered Jabebo earrings and I highly recommend you check out their website, which is nearly as delightful as the earrings themselves! They are earrings with nature or science themes, made from cereal box cardboard. They are for sale at many nature center giftshops, or you can buy them from the website itself. The earrings are different, but complementary.
For instance, check out the daisy earrings I bought -- one has a little bee on it!
Abby got the hummingbirds earrings.
We should have gotten the great blue heron earrings, becuase we saw lots of those...
They even have earrings of elements from the periodic table, like these of neon.
And paramecium and amoeba! And bats! And dragonflies! And butterfies! And owls! Very unique and fun! And only $10! I want more!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Watching the Olympics
Hard to believe that Randal and Adam have both finished IU. Randal took time off from packing and cleaning to come over and hang out for a while and watch the Olympics with Jordie and Abby and me on his last night in Bloomington. I tried not to get too sentimental; only a little of the "You can come back and stay with us anytime!" kind of talk. Pictured are Jordie and our dog, Sadie, and then Randal and Abby. (Note: that is not a bandage on Abby's nose — it's a nose strip, for cosmetic purposes only!)
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Emergency Urban Outfitters day-before-school run
Got home from work at 6:15, and Abby really wanted to go and buy a certain blouse downtown. Of course, an emergency Urban Outfitters run on the day before school! So we stopped by Adam's work downtown so she could borrow some cash from her brother...then she went into Urban Outfitters while I sat and read the NY Times across the street at the new Dunkin Donuts and drank coffee...thinking of how good my life is. Then, a stop at Bloomingfoods and stop at my mom's to say hi...then home to a good dinner on the back porch with Jordie.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Amalia's David on WRTV!
Click here to see an article and a video clip from WRTV.com -- it's Amalia's David and others talking about their movie, "My Name is Jerry," being filmed in Muncie this summer!
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Remembering what's really important
I was doing some stuff that needed to be done, looking on the URJ website for something for the board meeting Tuesday night, and ran across this article in the blogs. A little gift to me, and reading it has changed my day around...
From the URJ website:
Remembering What's Really Important
July 9, 2008
By JanetheWriter
In an article in this week's Science Times Michael Bicks recounts the tale of his recent heart attack and how his decision to go straight to the hospital has enabled him to say, "I get to hug my wife and my kids, understand how wonderful my friends are and realize exactly how much I love my life."
Amidst the hassles and demands of everyday living--the missed buses and missed deadlines, the packed lunches left sitting on the kitchen counter, the unrelenting phone calls and emails, the spilled coffee, the winding line in the grocery store--it's too easy to lose sight of the wonders and richness of hugging our spouse, valuing our friends and loving our life.
Lucky for us, our tradition's liturgy provides us with a daily opportunity to focus on the wonders of life--the daily miracles--and to remember that they are what's really important. Don't get me wrong. I don't attend a morning minyan. In fact, I hardly ever attend services. But when I do, I try to let the liturgy speak to me, to listen to it, and to act upon what it has to say.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who has given the mind the ability to distinguish day from night. Look out the window. Relish the pinks and oranges and greens and blues of the sun as it creeps over the East River and spreads across the dusky sky. Enjoy the colors of the new day. Appreciate the potential that it holds.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who opens the eyes of the blind. Look around and see what's in front of you. The fluffy hydrangeas abloom in the garden, the blue-green shimmer of the pigeon's wing as the bird pecks at a pizza crust tossed in the gutter, the diverse and colorful stream of rushing New Yorkers, each created b'tzelem Elohim with something special to offer the world.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who frees the captive. Try not to be a prisoner to the known, to the familiar, to a particular "truth." Take a chance on something new. Climb the alpine tower. Venture to Coney Island on the D train. Just because that woman at the bus stop has tattoo-covered arms and pierced eyebrows, she isn't necessarily a sleaze bag. Smile at the cute guy in the elevator. Download an unfamiliar song to the ipod. Be open to new possibilities.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who lifts up the fallen. Buy street flowers for the friend who just got dumped. Drop the loose change from the flowers into the ratty paper cup of the guy on the corner or into the tzedakah box in the elevator lobby at the office.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who stretches the earth over the waters. Revel in the soft grass and quiet shade of the garden on a lazy Sunday, the sun-warmed water of Laurie, Missouri's Lake of the Ozarks and the memory of last summer's glassy green Mediterranean. Use a reusable water bottle, compact fluorescent light bulbs and canvas grocery bags.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who strengthens our steps. Yesterday, I passed a young woman using crutches because she had only one leg. Thank you, God, for two strong legs, for a healthy heart and bones, for iron-rich blood and for making them all work together.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who clothes the naked. As much as I dislike the shopping scene, I am grateful, of course, to have warm clothes in the winter and cool clothes in the summer. Let me make purchasing choices that help ensure that others are not exploited by the processes that bring shoes, clothing and other goods to our stores.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who gives strength to the weary. Even when I'm overwhelmed at work, lacking responses from jdaters, or annoyed with a friend, let me still remember how lucky I am to have this life and the people in it. It is a good life indeed.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who removes sleep from the eyes, slumber from the eyelids. When it's time to leave this life, I want to drift away into an endless sleep. For now, though--and for a long time to come--I am grateful to awake each day to health and strength, to friends and family, to a rich, full and meaningful existence.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who made me in the image of God. Let me use the gifts that I have been given, together with God and in some small way, to make my little corner of the world a better place.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who has made me free. In all realms--as an American, a Reform Jew and an individual--I am free. As I savor this accident of birth, let me remember that others--women in abusive relationships, political prisoners, Third World laborers and countless others--are not free. Until they are free, none of us is free.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who has made me a Jew. Last summer, I attended mass in St. Patrick's Cathedral with a friend who was in New York from out-of-town. My visit in church reinforced how grateful I am to be she-asani Yisrael, to have been created with a pure soul, and to truly understand what a wonderful number is echad.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who girds Israel with strength. In fields from science and literature to sports, politics and entertainment, countless Jews have girded Israel with strength--Paul Ehrlich, Selman Waksman, Nadine Gordimer, Sandy Koufax, Saul Bellow, Arlen Specter, Joseph Lieberman, Gilda Radner, William Shatner...the list goes on. Both known and unknown, we enrich the world, and I am proud to be among the people Israel.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who crowns Israel with splendor. In big ways and small, may Israel continue to be a light unto the nations and may all her people--whatever their lot--comport themselves with a healthy dose of menschlichkeit and find joy in the daily wonders and richness of hugging our spouse, valuing our friends and loving our life.
From the URJ website:
Remembering What's Really Important
July 9, 2008
By JanetheWriter
In an article in this week's Science Times Michael Bicks recounts the tale of his recent heart attack and how his decision to go straight to the hospital has enabled him to say, "I get to hug my wife and my kids, understand how wonderful my friends are and realize exactly how much I love my life."
Amidst the hassles and demands of everyday living--the missed buses and missed deadlines, the packed lunches left sitting on the kitchen counter, the unrelenting phone calls and emails, the spilled coffee, the winding line in the grocery store--it's too easy to lose sight of the wonders and richness of hugging our spouse, valuing our friends and loving our life.
Lucky for us, our tradition's liturgy provides us with a daily opportunity to focus on the wonders of life--the daily miracles--and to remember that they are what's really important. Don't get me wrong. I don't attend a morning minyan. In fact, I hardly ever attend services. But when I do, I try to let the liturgy speak to me, to listen to it, and to act upon what it has to say.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who has given the mind the ability to distinguish day from night. Look out the window. Relish the pinks and oranges and greens and blues of the sun as it creeps over the East River and spreads across the dusky sky. Enjoy the colors of the new day. Appreciate the potential that it holds.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who opens the eyes of the blind. Look around and see what's in front of you. The fluffy hydrangeas abloom in the garden, the blue-green shimmer of the pigeon's wing as the bird pecks at a pizza crust tossed in the gutter, the diverse and colorful stream of rushing New Yorkers, each created b'tzelem Elohim with something special to offer the world.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who frees the captive. Try not to be a prisoner to the known, to the familiar, to a particular "truth." Take a chance on something new. Climb the alpine tower. Venture to Coney Island on the D train. Just because that woman at the bus stop has tattoo-covered arms and pierced eyebrows, she isn't necessarily a sleaze bag. Smile at the cute guy in the elevator. Download an unfamiliar song to the ipod. Be open to new possibilities.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who lifts up the fallen. Buy street flowers for the friend who just got dumped. Drop the loose change from the flowers into the ratty paper cup of the guy on the corner or into the tzedakah box in the elevator lobby at the office.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who stretches the earth over the waters. Revel in the soft grass and quiet shade of the garden on a lazy Sunday, the sun-warmed water of Laurie, Missouri's Lake of the Ozarks and the memory of last summer's glassy green Mediterranean. Use a reusable water bottle, compact fluorescent light bulbs and canvas grocery bags.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who strengthens our steps. Yesterday, I passed a young woman using crutches because she had only one leg. Thank you, God, for two strong legs, for a healthy heart and bones, for iron-rich blood and for making them all work together.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who clothes the naked. As much as I dislike the shopping scene, I am grateful, of course, to have warm clothes in the winter and cool clothes in the summer. Let me make purchasing choices that help ensure that others are not exploited by the processes that bring shoes, clothing and other goods to our stores.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who gives strength to the weary. Even when I'm overwhelmed at work, lacking responses from jdaters, or annoyed with a friend, let me still remember how lucky I am to have this life and the people in it. It is a good life indeed.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who removes sleep from the eyes, slumber from the eyelids. When it's time to leave this life, I want to drift away into an endless sleep. For now, though--and for a long time to come--I am grateful to awake each day to health and strength, to friends and family, to a rich, full and meaningful existence.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who made me in the image of God. Let me use the gifts that I have been given, together with God and in some small way, to make my little corner of the world a better place.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who has made me free. In all realms--as an American, a Reform Jew and an individual--I am free. As I savor this accident of birth, let me remember that others--women in abusive relationships, political prisoners, Third World laborers and countless others--are not free. Until they are free, none of us is free.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who has made me a Jew. Last summer, I attended mass in St. Patrick's Cathedral with a friend who was in New York from out-of-town. My visit in church reinforced how grateful I am to be she-asani Yisrael, to have been created with a pure soul, and to truly understand what a wonderful number is echad.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who girds Israel with strength. In fields from science and literature to sports, politics and entertainment, countless Jews have girded Israel with strength--Paul Ehrlich, Selman Waksman, Nadine Gordimer, Sandy Koufax, Saul Bellow, Arlen Specter, Joseph Lieberman, Gilda Radner, William Shatner...the list goes on. Both known and unknown, we enrich the world, and I am proud to be among the people Israel.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, who crowns Israel with splendor. In big ways and small, may Israel continue to be a light unto the nations and may all her people--whatever their lot--comport themselves with a healthy dose of menschlichkeit and find joy in the daily wonders and richness of hugging our spouse, valuing our friends and loving our life.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
A very interesting week
First, if you are reading this because you are friends of our family, then go to shifrissfamily.shutterfly.com and check out photos of Adam's graduation from Indiana University! Very proud and happy. And so incredible to have Amalia home; in fact, she just sent me the photos I put into my shutterfly account.
I say "interesting" and I don't mean that in a good way. I mean it in the way that you say something without wanting to be specific.
Things that have weighed on my mind lately:
--Abby has been sick, on and off, and lately more on, for several weeks. So fatigued that she cannot get out of bed and go to school. Nauseous. At first, they thought it was mono. Then, it may be allergies to wheat, soy and eggs. To say that this time has been emotionally challenging is quite an understatement. It weighs heavy on my heart no matter what else is going on.
---I am worried about my mom, and the fact that she has herniated discs and that is causing pressure on nerves which makes it difficult for her to move her legs. Getting into a car and having to swing her legs sideways is very hard for her. And she cannot even get into the pain clinic till JUNE 16!
---I have to have a uterine ultrasound because I spotted blood, and I am post-menopausal, so that is not a good sign. This may lead to a simple D&C, a hysterectomy, or to nothing. But still, in the spare moments when I am not worrying about Abby or my mom, I can worry about this.
---I am about to become president of our synagogue and there are many things I should be doing. Many things. And I feel guilty about letting these other part of my life invade my mind so much that some days recently I feel incapable of doing anything except the minimum.
---And, a situation at my job, which I cannot speak of online, but which has left me feeling really, really angry. I love the work and I am very satisfied with doing it, and with the opportunities that are there for growth and learning. And because I love many of the people I work with. But, at a time in my life when so much is going on to make me absolutely crazy, having a tense situation at my job has been almost unbearable. Humor and compassion from my friends are such a treasure.
There have been several nights lately when I have just been so emotionally wrung out that I have fallen asleep in my clothes. And tonight may be one of those nights.
Night.
I say "interesting" and I don't mean that in a good way. I mean it in the way that you say something without wanting to be specific.
Things that have weighed on my mind lately:
--Abby has been sick, on and off, and lately more on, for several weeks. So fatigued that she cannot get out of bed and go to school. Nauseous. At first, they thought it was mono. Then, it may be allergies to wheat, soy and eggs. To say that this time has been emotionally challenging is quite an understatement. It weighs heavy on my heart no matter what else is going on.
---I am worried about my mom, and the fact that she has herniated discs and that is causing pressure on nerves which makes it difficult for her to move her legs. Getting into a car and having to swing her legs sideways is very hard for her. And she cannot even get into the pain clinic till JUNE 16!
---I have to have a uterine ultrasound because I spotted blood, and I am post-menopausal, so that is not a good sign. This may lead to a simple D&C, a hysterectomy, or to nothing. But still, in the spare moments when I am not worrying about Abby or my mom, I can worry about this.
---I am about to become president of our synagogue and there are many things I should be doing. Many things. And I feel guilty about letting these other part of my life invade my mind so much that some days recently I feel incapable of doing anything except the minimum.
---And, a situation at my job, which I cannot speak of online, but which has left me feeling really, really angry. I love the work and I am very satisfied with doing it, and with the opportunities that are there for growth and learning. And because I love many of the people I work with. But, at a time in my life when so much is going on to make me absolutely crazy, having a tense situation at my job has been almost unbearable. Humor and compassion from my friends are such a treasure.
There have been several nights lately when I have just been so emotionally wrung out that I have fallen asleep in my clothes. And tonight may be one of those nights.
Night.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
Earthquake day in Bloomington
Two funny coincidences about the two earthquakes felt in Bloomington today (just before 6 a.m., a 5.4 earthquake, and just after 11 a.m., a 4.6 earthquake):
--Pictured is the front page from the Herald-Times' environmental section, published this morning; and
--Today, April 18, is the anniversary of the Great San Francisco Earthquake.
I'm just saying!
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Getting started in the garden
What a glorious morning. I picked Malinda up and we walked at the Y, while I got to hear all about their family wedding -- of Kyle and Dylan -- last weekend at the Indiana State Museum. A Colts-themed wedding! It sounded wonderful and beautiful and personal. Then I stopped by and had coffee and an english muffin and a delicious microwaved egg. Healthy and fun.
THEN I went home and Jordie and I spent some companiable time working outside, getting started clearing all the leaves and dead stalks from the garden. Felt great.
I moved the blue windmill, which I love because my dad did, over by the mailbox and have some ideas to do fun things with it. More later on that!
And see the pile of old brown stalks by the mailbox! YAY!
And now, we're expecting Jan and Dennis Hamilton, parents of Amalia's love, David, to come over and have a picnic!
All in all, a perfect Sunday.
Friday, March 28, 2008
"Immaculate reception"
It was late in the 4th quarter, 4th and 10, of the AFC playoffs in 1972. My Steelers-fan-friend Dawn was taking a trip down memory lane today after we saw a photo of Franco Harris with Obama. And after you watch this video clip of the pass that Terry Bradshaw threw to Franco Harris, then you will understand why there is actually a statue of Franco Harris and the "Immaculate Reception" in the Pittsburgh airport!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
If I were talking to George Clooney right now...
... I'd ask him where to go in Cincinnati for some good chili! (I know where I'm going with this thought.)
Because, for one, I actually am driving to Cincinnati Saturday to take Abby and several of her friends to see some group play at the 20th Century Theater. Sandy is going with me and we are going to go someplace and hang out and have some chili and wait for the girls. And, George Clooney IS actually from Cincinnati.
But the reason I say that is I've been thinking this week that in this country at least, there is some weird unhealthy feeling that somebody who has money and fame is qualitatively different -- not just lucky, or hard-working, or good-looking -- but somehow better.
My friend at work and I were talking about how a bunch of articles online recently kept saying stuff about how George Clooney's girlfriend Sarah Larson is a former cocktail waitress, and how lucky she is to have a boyfriend like him.
Well, who made the rule that a person's job defines them? A person could be rich and famous and still be totally depressing or obnoxious or tedious to hang around with, or a person could be a waitress and be fun and optimistic and smart and make everyone around feel good.
And I think there is a strong tinge of sexism in saying how lucky, lucky, lucky that woman is -- maybe Clooney's thinking how lucky he is!
And, I've skimmed the Time magazine article on George Clooney that ran last week, in which the writer paints Clooney as a good guy, but is somehow nonetheless amazed that somebody like Clooney would actually come over to his house and spend an evening. I guess he was making the point that Clooney is a regular guy, which may mean that Clooney has a lot more common sense than a lot of people.
I have friends who have very little and friends who have a lot. And I don't think that either condition makes one a better or worse person. Or more fun to hang out with.
And while I enjoy hearing Amalia's tales of what famous person may have come into the Starbucks where she works, I don't think that actually meeting them would make my life better.
(And I know that Amalia is a better actress than 99 percent of the women at the Oscars the other night, and when she has her makeup done by a pro, she is just as glamorous and more...)
And that's why I say, if I were sitting next to Clooney right now, I'd ask him where to get some good chili in Cincinnati, or I might mention that our family always had the "50-50 Club" on tv at home when I was little (his dad worked on that show), or maybe even ask him to tell me what being in Darfur was like, and what he thinks a regular person can do.
But I wouldn't expect that the conversation would be better or would mean more than talking to any friend.
Because, for one, I actually am driving to Cincinnati Saturday to take Abby and several of her friends to see some group play at the 20th Century Theater. Sandy is going with me and we are going to go someplace and hang out and have some chili and wait for the girls. And, George Clooney IS actually from Cincinnati.
But the reason I say that is I've been thinking this week that in this country at least, there is some weird unhealthy feeling that somebody who has money and fame is qualitatively different -- not just lucky, or hard-working, or good-looking -- but somehow better.
My friend at work and I were talking about how a bunch of articles online recently kept saying stuff about how George Clooney's girlfriend Sarah Larson is a former cocktail waitress, and how lucky she is to have a boyfriend like him.
Well, who made the rule that a person's job defines them? A person could be rich and famous and still be totally depressing or obnoxious or tedious to hang around with, or a person could be a waitress and be fun and optimistic and smart and make everyone around feel good.
And I think there is a strong tinge of sexism in saying how lucky, lucky, lucky that woman is -- maybe Clooney's thinking how lucky he is!
And, I've skimmed the Time magazine article on George Clooney that ran last week, in which the writer paints Clooney as a good guy, but is somehow nonetheless amazed that somebody like Clooney would actually come over to his house and spend an evening. I guess he was making the point that Clooney is a regular guy, which may mean that Clooney has a lot more common sense than a lot of people.
I have friends who have very little and friends who have a lot. And I don't think that either condition makes one a better or worse person. Or more fun to hang out with.
And while I enjoy hearing Amalia's tales of what famous person may have come into the Starbucks where she works, I don't think that actually meeting them would make my life better.
(And I know that Amalia is a better actress than 99 percent of the women at the Oscars the other night, and when she has her makeup done by a pro, she is just as glamorous and more...)
And that's why I say, if I were sitting next to Clooney right now, I'd ask him where to get some good chili in Cincinnati, or I might mention that our family always had the "50-50 Club" on tv at home when I was little (his dad worked on that show), or maybe even ask him to tell me what being in Darfur was like, and what he thinks a regular person can do.
But I wouldn't expect that the conversation would be better or would mean more than talking to any friend.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Sunday afternoon
The fact that I have not posted since Dec. 31 is reflective of how these past weeks have gone. Although I love the work that I am doing in my new position at the newspaper (copy editor) it seems that it has been all-work-all-the-time. I have been exhausted and overwhelmed.
Recently I went to the emergency room after work on Friday. The emergency room because it was already 7:40 and other places are closed then. My shoulder and arm were so painful that I thought I might be having a heart attack. I knew for sure that I could not sleep that night unless I did something. So, I had the EKG, the blood test for heart information -- my heart is fine. The problem was muscular. I took a painkiller. I changed the chair I sit in at work. I had a flexible keyboard tray installed. I am trying, each hour, to get up and walk around and loosen up.
And I am trying to change some things about the way my work is done to make the flow more efficient, to make things simpler.
Jordie is also incredibly busy, and really likes his work with Gan Shalom (the preschool at our synagogue) and likes taking care of Henry (the 90-something-year-old professor). I think he is very fulfilled by both things. And yet, very busy.
My mom needs me more than I am currently giving. She feels lonely, I think, and the cure for that would be more activity, but she is slowed down by pain from her "frozen shoulder."
Abby and I have been fighting lately, and in the past few days, I have tried to consciously let go of the need to be right, right, right -- and to trust her more and trust that she has to make decisions for herself. When I do step back a little from the being authoritarian, things seems to work much better. And when I stop being a nudge, I am able to see what a capable, talented and wonderful girl she is.
Just getting anything done feels like walking through mud -- so difficult.
And getting more exercise...I need to do it but I am so tired, mentally as well as physically.
Things are going to get much busier with the synagogue, and I am trying to be mentally ready for that. We had a great board meeting the other night, and I was thinking how much doing work with the synagogue means to me.
Yet, there are friends whom I have not called, visits I have not made, and people who I want to invite over, to strengthen our ties, and I have not done that.
Sometimes, I sit for a few minutes in my little office, watching the ice sparkle on the branches of the dogwood tree outside my window, lit magically by the streetlight outside. And breathe slowly.
There is nothing in my life that I would give up. Somehow I must learn to balance it better, or to get more energy.
But for right now, I'm going to take a nap.
Recently I went to the emergency room after work on Friday. The emergency room because it was already 7:40 and other places are closed then. My shoulder and arm were so painful that I thought I might be having a heart attack. I knew for sure that I could not sleep that night unless I did something. So, I had the EKG, the blood test for heart information -- my heart is fine. The problem was muscular. I took a painkiller. I changed the chair I sit in at work. I had a flexible keyboard tray installed. I am trying, each hour, to get up and walk around and loosen up.
And I am trying to change some things about the way my work is done to make the flow more efficient, to make things simpler.
Jordie is also incredibly busy, and really likes his work with Gan Shalom (the preschool at our synagogue) and likes taking care of Henry (the 90-something-year-old professor). I think he is very fulfilled by both things. And yet, very busy.
My mom needs me more than I am currently giving. She feels lonely, I think, and the cure for that would be more activity, but she is slowed down by pain from her "frozen shoulder."
Abby and I have been fighting lately, and in the past few days, I have tried to consciously let go of the need to be right, right, right -- and to trust her more and trust that she has to make decisions for herself. When I do step back a little from the being authoritarian, things seems to work much better. And when I stop being a nudge, I am able to see what a capable, talented and wonderful girl she is.
Just getting anything done feels like walking through mud -- so difficult.
And getting more exercise...I need to do it but I am so tired, mentally as well as physically.
Things are going to get much busier with the synagogue, and I am trying to be mentally ready for that. We had a great board meeting the other night, and I was thinking how much doing work with the synagogue means to me.
Yet, there are friends whom I have not called, visits I have not made, and people who I want to invite over, to strengthen our ties, and I have not done that.
Sometimes, I sit for a few minutes in my little office, watching the ice sparkle on the branches of the dogwood tree outside my window, lit magically by the streetlight outside. And breathe slowly.
There is nothing in my life that I would give up. Somehow I must learn to balance it better, or to get more energy.
But for right now, I'm going to take a nap.
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