column by Lynne

This was in the HT last week.


Thinking about Religion
Kaddish: A prayer to bless

By Lynne Foster Shifriss lshifriss@heraldt.com
July 14, 2007

The Colorado mountains are a good place to reflect on God and life. Lynne Shifriss | Courtesy photo

Let God’s great name be blessed forever and ever...

— from the Kaddish prayer

It’s pretty easy to feel close to God in the mountains of Colorado.

And while on vacation here, I am filled by thoughts that reinforce the meaning of the circle of life:

• A couple of days ago was the yartzeit (anniversary) of my father-in-law’s death.

• Just a few weeks ago I went to a memorial service for a friend — he was only 59 and had been an exuberant dad, a mentor to us when we were all young parents.

• We are staying with an old college friend and his children — his wife, Mary, died six months ago. She and I were kindred spirits since our freshman year in college in 1972.

• Our 20-year-old son sits with his grandmother in the hospital today, where he has taken her so that she can get a needed blood transfusion. Then he will go and play chess with a very elderly friend.

• Yesterday, one of our oldest and dearest friends, at age 57, married a wonderful man in a small beach ceremony in San Diego.

• I have much time to think on this vacation as I knit a blanket to welcome a new baby to the world.

Generations.

Death and life.

Grief and joy.

Mourning and ... going on with life.

That, to me, is the essence of the Kaddish, a prayer that Jews say after the death, and on each anniversary of the death of a loved one.

The Kaddish does not talk about death. Instead, the prayer extols the glory of God and the promise of peace, the goodness of life.

The Kaddish is supposed to be said only during a religious service in which there is a minyan — a group of 10 adult Jews.

Perhaps this is so, I think, because those rabbis of old realized that mourners really need the support of a community (but that’s just my theory, and I’m not a clergyperson).

And yet my husband, daughter and I found ourselves, on the yartzeit of my father-in-law’s death, standing at a 360-degree outlook off Timber Ridge Road, a little above 12,000 feet high in the Colorado Rockies.

There above the treeline, we wore fleece and shivered in the fierce wind, though we had been in shorts and T-shirts down in Estes Park.

We were surrounded by the alpine tundra — tiny blue-purple, yellow and white flowers pushed through the hardy grasses and scattered rocks, a reminder to me that beauty exists even in the harshest conditions.

And that life’s goodness comes back, even through the most painful of memories.

Generations.

Death and life.

Grief and joy.

Mourning and ... going on with life.

I took a copy of the Kaddish prayer from my purse and there, on top of the mountain, we three recited the words in memory of my father-in-law, praising God, praising life.

It was a very holy place.

From the road...

(Written on Thursday, June 28)

Riding on I-70, headed eastward. Crying as we drove over the Missisippi, because I had just put in a disk in the computer and discovered that it worked. It was a disk of photos that a very kind woman had put together, a slideshow of photographs of Penecost programs at Grace Church, all programs that my good friend Kit designed. There she is, in her element, surrounded by people, butterflies and balloons. Carol Nuss put together the slideshow and they showed it at Grace Episcopal on Pentecost. Dean Sally told me that people watched it with tears in their eyes, but laughing, too. I was so relieved to see that the disk worked in my Mac, because she had put it together with a Windows program. And it worked, just fine. After we came down from Pike's Peak the other day, we drove to Carol's house, up by Garden of the Gods, to get that disk. (She's making a more edited one for Phil, with the music of James Galway playing "Wind Beneath My Wings." She showed it to me when I came to get the CD, and we held hands and watched it, both with tears. I never met her before but we were bound by our caring for Kit...)

I'm going to use the photos to make a notebook for each of the kids and Phil, and one for me, with the beautiful photos of Kit at church, and also the material from her application to become a deacon....an autobiography that she wrote and the answers from the committee which evaluated her application to become a deacon. It's lovely stuff, to keep and treasure. I never realized what a big deal it was, her being accepted to study to be a deacon.

I checked the other night; a plane ticket between Indy and Colorado Springs is only about $229 round-trip. Why didn't I go to see her more often? It makes me sick to think that I could have and didn't.

I hope that both my girls can join me to go out for the Rocky Mountain Women's Film Festival, the first weekend of November. I wrote to another old friend of Kit's and asked her if she could come as well, perhaps with her daughter.

We are now 220 miles from Indianapolis, so will arrive home late tonight. It's 7:10 Indiana time.

We are driving home a couple of days early because my mom was in the hospital this week, getting blood transfusions. I don't think they know what caused her anemia and to have some internal bleeding, evidently, but the situation seems to be better. She has had an EKG, a colonoscopy and an x-ray of her colon. So, she is back at home at Redbud Hills.

She knows that I will not be over to see her till tomorrow morning.

My emotions are so on the surface, after spending time at the Webster house. Phil and the kids were great, and we felt totally at home and had good times with each of them. But, I realized that I had to face Kit's death head-on, being there. It was somewhat easier at home, to pretend that she didn't die.

Phil and Jordie got along great, which made me feel good. We hiked and had meals togehter and hung out...Maddie and Abby and I went on a "ghost tour" at the haunted Stanley Hotel in Estes Park (the hotel inspired Stephen King to write "The Shining"). We all went on Timber Ridge Drive, beyond Estes Park, up to the fierce winds and glorious views much higher up. And I felt so good that I did a bunch of hiking....even though I was short of breath, I consciously breathed slowly and deeply and felt OK.

Time together in the car is even good. Just hanging out.

...and more Colorado adventures

An outlook on Timber Ridge Road, then the very highest point we went -- a little over 12,000 feet, then Jordie and Abby at the water clock at Royal Gorge, then Abby and Maddie at the haunted Stanley Hotel in Estes Peak!

Colorado adventures

Alpine flowers, up above the tree line, on the day we drove up from Estes Park on the Timber Ridge Road...then a baby white buffalo and a mom and baby buffalo at the Royal Gorge zoo, then Jordie and Abby at an outlook high on Timber Ridge Road...

(Featuring the beautiful and talented Amalia Shifriss!) Paul McCartney - Starbucks Global Listening Event EPK Part 1

OK, test of true friendship! Watch this video from youtube.com and you can see a couple of brief views of our beautiful golden girl Amalia, dancing around at the Starbucks where she works in Sherman Oaks, on the occasion of the release of Paul McCartney's new album. She's dancing around (on the right) at 2:14 into the video and she's standing around with her fellow employees (she's wearing braids, at left) at 3:34 into the video. You can move the little thing at the bottom of the screen to fast-forward to those spots!

Hillary Clinton Sopranos Spoof.

This is funny, even if, like me, one only heard about the Sopranos final episode! I like it that they did a spoof!