I could do better

I'm feeling low this week, and not just because it was pretty demanding at work...my friend Marilyn Breiter died a week ago, at 55, of breast cancer. And so attending the funeral of someone who was my contemporary and my friend -- well, that is awful enough. But to add to it, I have a nagging feeling that I could have been a better friend.

I know so many people who manage to work, raise children, etc. -- and still manage to do kind things.

I think that I let myself get overwhelmed with logistics, and then sometimes fail to do something that I could easily do, or fail to even see that somethng is in front of me, needing to be done.

For example. Marilyn had emailed me that she intended to come to Abby's bat mitzvah. It was a busy day for me, but if I were more the kind of person that I WANT to be, I would have noticed that Marilyn was not there. I could so easily have taken some of that glorious food of Cynthia's over to Marilyn and Don's house, only five minutes from Beth Shalom. I could have taken one of the bat mitzvah booklets, and a couple of those COEXIST bracelets that we gave out as favors. But, I did not notice. And I did nothing.

Even after our return from California, when Madi emailed around, asking for volunteers to help out with meals for Marilyn and Don, I let myself think "Oh, I'm so busy. And I'm not such a great cook. I can't think of what to make." And I did nothing.

A couple days ago, my friend Marci, a reporter at the HT, brought me flowers because she knew I'd had a stressful week. She's plenty busy, and yet she is the kind of friend who can take time to make a kind gesture. Who THINKS of doing the kind gesture.

I hope that at least this experience leads me to be more that kind of person.