Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?

Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? Every, every minute?

That's the question in the play "Our Town," when Emily, a young mother who has just died in childbirth, is given the opportunity to go back to life for just one day. She chooses her 12th birthday. And she watches as her family is preoccupied with trivial stuff, too busy to even really pay attention to each other. Emily says to her mother (although her mother cannot hear Emily's spirit) "Just for a moment we're happy. Let's look at one another..."

I think the answer that Emily got in the play was that perhaps poets are the only ones who realize life (and, in my words, see the eternity, the goldenness, in normal moments).

Yesterday, Amalia and I went to the urgent care place, to see the doctor who had originally sent her to the hospital for tests, and he is a wonderful guy. Dr. Morris Mesler, I think. Old and friendly and willing to answer questions. We should have gone back to him in the first place, but the hospital nurses had told Amalia to see the doctor who saw her in the hospital. Anyway, he looked at her lab results, explained them (all is well), checked her out, and said "I told your husband on the phone that you didn't need to come out here, but if you heard how she was sounding, I don't blame you a bit for getting on a plane." He even gave her a hug as we were leaving. He explained that she would be weak and tired for a few days, and that was normal-- that being sick like that burns thousands of calories. He told her to drink gatorade and take vitamins and rest.

So, it was a beautiful day, she was feeling so much better, and we drove around a little, looking at some beautiful houses in Larchmont, Beverly Hills. We drove over to Westwood Village, by UCLA's campus, and had ice cream at a little place -- they sell a two-cookie ice cream sandwich for a dollar!

I took her to Target and bought her some stuff. Then, we came home and took naps, then later we ate more vegetable soup and watched a DVD. We talked to Jordie and Abby and my mom on the phone. Adam had called earlier. I left a message for my sister. Amalia's boss at Starbucks told her to only come back to work Monday if she feels up to it -- that they miss her a lot, but she shouldn't push it. (I feel like sending a present to that wonderful woman.)

I am filled with a sense of really appreciating that afternoon yesterday. A sense that I really do understand just how wonderful a normal, trivial day really is. Driving around in the sunshine, eating ice cream, watching a DVD. Talking to our family.

Maybe I can really focus, in the future, on really looking at the people in my life, and, as Emily says, realizing life while I live it. I think I have said this before. I may have even written it before in an earlier post on this blog. But when will I GET it?

I woke this morning with a sense of profound gratitude. That's a start.

Whooping Cough Saga

This week, which I can easily say has been one of the NOT happiest of my life, is a lesson: do not ever, ever, ever let your child be without medical insurance!

In some short-sighted belief that people must do without when they are young and just out of college, we let Amalia's medical coverage lapse. She had a job at a Jewish community center for awhile when she moved to LA, but then was lucky enough to get a job at Starbucks, which is an employer that is great in the benefits it offers. (And actually, in the time that Amalia has been sick, her boss at Starbucks has been great in flexibility and understanding as well.)

BUT, the upshot is that until Sept. 1, Amalia is not covered by medical insurance. And that has only added and multiplied to the nightmare of this week...

Last week, Amalia was diagnosed with whooping cough. She was at urgent care over on Ventura Blvd. A really nice doctor there prescribed antibiotics, which cost $87. After four days, she still was not better. She talked to the nice doctor and he asked her to come back in. He sent her to the hospital for tests. They admitted her, with whooping cough and pneumonia. After just 24 hours on intraveneous antibiotics, she was much, much better. Jordan had to guarantee $5,000 over the phone, and the bill might end up being twice that.

I arrived in LA Tuesday night. I had to come. When I arrived, she was just getting released from the hospital. The nurses there told her to make a follow-up appointment with the woman doctor who had seen her in the hospital for all of two minutes. That woman doctor prescribed some more antibiotics. Amalia called and made the follow-up appt.

When we arrived at the woman doctor's office this afternoon, the doctor's nurse said that the doctor would not see her, because Amalia does not have insurance. She also said that the doctor said that she did not need to have a follow-up appt. I was saying "I have cash. I will pay for this appt." but that was to no avail. The doctor's nurse said that Amalia should not go back to work until all the medicine is gone. Amalia said "Oh, I thought I would be able to go back to work on Monday." So the doctor's nurse did a note for Amalia to give to work, saying that she could come back to work Monday.

We walked to Tarzana Med Center next door to pick up Amalia's lab results, because she does not have a doctor to send them to. But we don't know what they mean. It looks like she is OK, but we're not sure.

So, I am at Amalia's house. It is Thursday night. She is still weak and tired. She called to reschedule an acting showcase that she was supposed to do tonight, because she is not in shape to do it. I am supposed to fly home Saturday afternoon. We are going to the urgent care center tomorrow morning so that we can try to have Amalia see the nice guy doctor. We ASSUME that she is no longer contagious, because she has been on antibiotics for a week and because they told her, as she left the hospital, that she didn't have to wear a mask anymore. We don't know how she should expect to feel. We don't know if she should or shouldn't go back to work Monday.

So, I made vegetable soup for her and got yogurts, which are good to eat when one has been on antibiotics. And I am just wondering what else I can do. I guess I feel that I just want some ANSWERS before I leave. I cannot stand to call and hear her sounding weak and out of it (although that was in part due to being on codeine cough medicine last week). And she is no longer whooping, at least.

So I am one bummed-out mama tonight. I'm so glad that I came out, because, as one friend said "Sometimes you just need your mother." But I wish there were more I could do.

Comforting veggie soup

This is the soup I made for Amalia today. My mom made a beef version, but I make it with boneless chicken or turkey. And it's still filling, comforting, easy and delicious!

Must have:

One jar spaghetti sauce
One cabbage (or better yet, a package of already-shredded cole slaw mix)
One bag mixed vegetables
One package boneless chicken or turkey

Optional:
Salt
Garlic powder
Parsley
Whatever veggies you have sitting around in the fridge and want to use up

Put all ingredients in a big soup pot, half-filled with water.
Cook for a couple of hours.
Take out the meat, shred with two forks, put meat back in.

Of course, this can also be done with a crock pot.

Serve with bread, cheese, salad....or just by itself!

Lynne's chocolate cake!

The easiest cake you could ever possibly make...
also known as...
A Lifesaver for Busy Parents...
also known as...
Lynne’s chocolate cake!


-- Preheat the oven to 350 degrees, then put all ingredients into one big bowl (preferably one that you can throw in the dishwasher).
-- Mix it up (preferably with an electric mixer).
-- Pour into a greased and floured pan, about half full.
-- Bake for 30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.
-- After the cake has cooled, you can frost it or sprinkle it with confectioner’s sugar if you want, but plain is good, too!

2 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
3 tablespoons cocoa
1 cup mayonnaise (or Miracle Whip)
1 1/4 cup sugar
1 cup water
1 teaspoon vanilla

NOTE: From sad experience, I have learned NOT to use fat-free or low-fat mayo in making this recipe. Just eat less and enjoy the real thing! ALSO, you know how kids usually can’t lick the bowl because of raw eggs? Well, since this cake is made with mayo instead of eggs, they CAN! (Or, you can…) This recipe is great for kids learning to cook and it was passed down to me by my mom, Pat Foster.

A warm summer night

Last night was just a night that reminded me of how good it is to live in Bloomington. I finished work at 6:45, (which was pretty good, considering that Rod -- my partner on the editorial pages - and Carol -- my officemate -- were both away). AND I even took time to have lunch with Shirley, which was great, of course.

Anyway, I buzzed across the street and got a sandwich, then up to Third Street Park, where Lee's band, O2R, was to play at 7. I took the folding rocking chair out of the wayback, and went to sit with friends and listen to music. Jordie and Abby were already there, and they moved down to the front to sit with me. Then, as I was WISHING I had the nerve to get up and just start dancing, there were Wendy and Ed Bernstein and Carol Polsgrove, coming to the front to dance in the grass just in front of the stage....and then, we all did! One thing I loved to watch was how Jordie jumped up to dance with Jessie Van Buskirk -- both having a great time. And Bonnie dancing with her little granddaughter, Clara. It felt so, so good to dance...the warm summer night, the smells, the women in pretty, floaty dresses, laughing....yes, very good!

Lee's guitar-playing was great -- he did one solo that was amazing! And Zain, my old friend from United Way days -- she's now at Monroe Bank -- was incredibly fun to watch singing.

I saw a woman who I knew was an old friend of my friend Sandy, so I introduced myself and told her that Sandy is coming for Lotus Festival, for a week! And two other women, who I've known for years, said "I know Sandy! She used to be with Ken Williams!" And, of course that's right -- I remember him the far, far distant past!

Heather and Shane, Sara Irvine and Donna had to move their blanket way back in the park -- the music scared baby Elijah.

I told Fred that I've thought of a wonderful woman with whom to FIX HIM UP! And he likes the idea! (Well, actually, the other night, he ASKED me if I knew any good women for him!)

After the concert was over, Abby and I were to head off to the westside Showplace to see Must Love Dogs, and Kelsey came with us.

What a wonderful evening....Here's the review of Must Love Dogs that I posted on the Herald-Times web site, under the Armchair Critic section:

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We laughed the whole way through

So what if the reviews say "No?" My friend and I (mid-40s and 51 years old, both women) laughed continuously. The meddling , loving, family? The beautiful, wonderful woman who can't get a date? Divorced men who only want younger women? The awkward fumbling toward some kind of understanding? Imperfect, puzzling relationships? Well, these situations may be cliched, but that's because they are all true to life. The relationships are wonderful, the humanity touching. And the one-liners are great! We thought it was even better than "You've Got Mail," which was charming. If you want to laugh, if you've been divorced or have friends who are, if you have fumbled with love (who hasn't?), you will enjoy this movie.

(And to top it off, Diane Lane's movie house is the Craftsman of my dreams -- I could see it again just for the house!)
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Actually, my friend said "I can't believe that crap like "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" got good reviews, and this didn't!"

We're both just softies, I guess!

Good night.