Every picture tells a story...

This is the photo I ended up using on our holiday card this year, which was a postcard, so I didn't get to say much! (I had a design where I did put some explanatory text, but it really didn't look good, design-wise.) So I'll explain the story of this picture here...first, our three kids (who, I believe, have EACH laughed about me using a quote from U2 on the holiday card!). Then, Randal, a great guy, student at IU, who is a good friend of our family. (A few weeks ago, Randal, who really knows his way around a kitchen, came over and TAUGHT me to use our grill, starting with "You take this brush and clean it off....") A student in Bloomington, he is from Los Angeles and is a really good friend to Amalia, too. And so is his family. Then, the big silver menorah was a gift from my mom, who isn't even Jewish but IS totally supportive, obviously! The little wooden statue of a deer nuzzling her baby (right-hand window, up in the middle) was always in the front window at the home of Jordie's parents, Shoshana and Oved (may their memories be for a blessing). The lamp reflected there is one that always stood by his dad's chair in the living room. (It's a Stiffel, and after we finished cleaning up at Oved's house after his death -- Jordie and I were standing by our van at 1 in the morning, with Jordie saying "We don't have room for that lamp" and me saying "We ARE taking that lamp!) The wooden menorah in the foreground is one that Jordie and I bought, after we got off a bus and walked down the road to Caesarea, during our first trip to Israel together in January 1980. (I thought, "Oh, we're buying a menorah together! He's keeping me around!) The incredible art work behind the kids is called "Miriam's Freedom" and is by artist and friend Jeremy Bazur (jeremybazur.com to see more of his work). I asked him to do a piece for my collection of works which all feature Miriam dancing by the sea...and, of course, the work that he did is just incredible, full of neat details and colors. The original is a college. And, a detail that one may not know when you look at this photo....it's in the living room of our new home -- 2033 S. Montclair, Bloomington IN 47401. We are happily getting used to living here.

Below, I'm going to post photos I considered using for the annual holiday mailing -- but didn't in favor of simplicity!


Ice cream cones after canoeing and kayaking on the Blue River, August 2006.

This expedition was much more fun than I anticipated....the kids had lots of fun in the kayaks, chasing each other, ecaping from us....one memory is Abby, temporarily by herself on the river, ahead of us, singing "Joy to the world, all you boys and girls, joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea, joy to you and me!" while keeping time with her paddle on the kayak.





Amalia, Abby, Adam and Lynne, Blue River day in August. The shirt that Abby's wearing is one that Shoshana bought for Amalia in Longboat Key when the kids were small. Now Amalia and Abby steal it back and forth from each other...










This is a more close-up view of Jeremy Bazur's work, "Miriam's Freedom." Check out the camel on the right! I can't believe he did this as a college -- it's incredible!














Those two wild women from "Megsmalia." (Megan and Amalia, roommates in Los Angeles)












Lynne, Pat and Abby at Pat's new apartment in Bloomington -- at Redbud Hills Retirement Residence.

















Abby by the fort/clubhouse/girls' hangout she and Jordie are building together. Just behind the fenceline, but still on our property, is a stand of trees where they are building it. Very private!

















Adam, Abby and Amalia, in front of a huge silver moose statue in Chicago, August 2006.



















Jordie, Judy, Amalia, (Matthew in front), Adam, Abby, Lynne, Megan. (Judy is Jordie's second cousin, who we discovered on jewishgen.org. Judy's father and Jordie's mother were first cousins. Matthew is Judy and Shlomo's grandson. They live just north of Chicago, and though we had never met before this year -- visiting them just feels like home.

Megan is Amalia's good friend from college, who is teaching in Chicago now.









Jordie, Lynne and Abby on the back porch of our new house














Beautiful girls, in the photo booth at a party...












And, finally, below are a couple of photos (along with the Blue River ones) that I picked to use on tee-shirts that Jordie and I had made for our family this Chanukah...before our first child was born, Jordie started referring to our family as the "Shifriss Adventure Team." So we had tee-shirts made with all our names on the front, and on the back, photos and ... a list of all our family vacations over the years:

Shifriss Adventure Team Tour 1982 –

Longboat Key, FL trips
Rangeley, ME
Blue Mountain, ME
White Mountains, NH
Nova Scotia, PEI
Woodstock, VT
Capitol Island, ME
Summer of ’88 Grand Tour
Lincoln State Park, IN
Turkey Run, IN
London/Southern England/Paris
Israel
Stratford, Ont., trips
Shawnee National Forest
Highland Park, NJ trips
New York/Philly trips
Arizona, Utah and California
Civil Rights tour/Disney World
Chicago, IL




Adam, Abby and Jordie, Israel, summer 1996, just after coming down from Masada. (Sarah, Abby's babydoll, accompanied us everywhere!) I think this is one of my favorite photos ever.














Abby, Adam, Amalia and Jordie, Getty Museum, Los Angeles, summer 2005.

The crazies are now seen as legitimate...

I find myself depressed and incredulous, not so much at the man preaching in a PUBLIC high school class, but at people being mad at the student who taped him! That teacher should be fired and the student should be honored for standing up for THE LAW! This makes me crazy!
***********************
From the NY Times:
December 18, 2006
Talk in Class Turns to God, Setting Off Public Debate on Rights
By TINA KELLEY
KEARNY, N.J. — Before David Paszkiewicz got to teach his accelerated 11th-grade history class about the United States Constitution this fall, he was accused of violating it.

Shortly after school began in September, the teacher told his sixth-period students at Kearny High School that evolution and the Big Bang were not scientific, that dinosaurs were aboard Noah’s ark, and that only Christians had a place in heaven, according to audio recordings made by a student whose family is now considering a lawsuit claiming Mr. Paszkiewicz broke the church-state boundary.

“If you reject his gift of salvation, then you know where you belong,” Mr. Paszkiewicz was recorded saying of Jesus. “He did everything in his power to make sure that you could go to heaven, so much so that he took your sins on his own body, suffered your pains for you, and he’s saying, ‘Please, accept me, believe.’ If you reject that, you belong in hell.”

The student, Matthew LaClair, said that he felt uncomfortable with Mr. Paszkiewicz’s statements in the first week, and taped eight classes starting Sept. 13 out of fear that officials would not believe the teacher had made the comments.

Since Matthew’s complaint, administrators have said they have taken “corrective action” against Mr. Paszkiewicz, 38, who has taught in the district for 14 years and is also a youth pastor at Kearny Baptist Church. However, they declined to say what the action was, saying it was a personnel matter.

“I think he’s an excellent teacher,” said the school principal, Al Somma. “As far as I know, there have never been any problems in the past.”

Staci Snider, the president of the local teacher’s union, said Mr. Paszkiewicz (pronounced pass-KEV-ich) had been assigned a lawyer from the union, the New Jersey Education Association. Two calls to Mr. Paszkiewicz at school and one to his home were not returned.

In this tale of the teacher who preached in class and the pupil he offended, students and the larger community have mostly lined up with Mr. Paszkiewicz, not with Matthew, who has received a death threat handled by the police, as well as critical comments from classmates.

Greice Coelho, who took Mr. Paszkiewicz’s class and is a member of his youth group, said in a letter to The Observer, the local weekly newspaper, that Matthew was “ignoring the First Amendment to the United States Constitution, which gives every citizen the freedom of religion.” Some anonymous posters on the town’s electronic bulletin board, Kearnyontheweb.com, called for Matthew’s suspension.

On the sidewalks outside the high school, which has 1,750 students, many agreed with 15-year-old Kyle Durkin, who said, “I’m on the teacher’s side all the way.”

While science teachers, particularly in the Bible Belt, have been known to refuse to teach evolution, the controversy here, 10 miles west of Manhattan, hinges on assertions Mr. Paszkiewicz made in class, including how a specific Muslim girl would go to hell.

“This is extremely rare for a teacher to get this blatantly evangelical,” said the Rev. Barry W. Lynn, executive director of Americans United for Separation of Church and State, a nonprofit educational association. “He’s really out there proselytizing, trying to convert students to his faith, and I think that that’s more than just saying I have some academic freedom right to talk about the Bible’s view of creation as well as evolution.”

Even some legal organizations that often champion the expression of religious beliefs are hesitant to support Mr. Paszkiewicz.

“It’s proselytizing, and the courts have been pretty clear you can’t do that,” said John W. Whitehead, president of the Rutherford Institute, a group that provides legal services in religious freedom cases. “You can’t step across the line and proselytize, and that’s what he’s done here.”

The class started on Sept. 11, and Matthew quickly grew concerned. “The first couple of days I had him, he had already begun discussing his religious point of view,” Matthew, a thin, articulate 16-year-old with braces and a passion for politics and the theater, recalled in an interview. “It wasn’t even just his point of view, it went beyond that to say this is the right way, this is the only way. The way he said it, I wasn’t sure how far he was going to go.”

On the second day of taping, after the discussion veered from Moses’s education to free will, Matthew asked why a loving God would consign humans to hell, according to the recording.

Some of Matthew’s detractors say he set up his teacher by baiting him with religious questions. But Matthew, who was raised in the Ethical Culture Society, a humanist religious and educational group, said all of his comments were in response to something the teacher said.

“I didn’t start any of the topics that were discussed,” he said.

In a Sept. 25 letter to the principal, Matthew wrote: “I care about the future generation and I do not want Mr. Paszkiewicz to continue preaching to and poisoning students.” He met with school officials and handed over the recordings.

Matthew’s family wrote four letters to the district asking for an apology and for the teacher to correct any false statements he had made in class, particularly those related to science. Matthew’s father, Paul LaClair, a lawyer, said he was now considering legal action against the district, claiming that Mr. Paszkiewicz’s teachings violated their son’s First Amendment and civil rights, and that his words misled the class and went against the curriculum.

Kenneth J. Lindenfelser, the lawyer for the Kearny school board, said he could not discuss Mr. Paszkiewicz specifically, but that when a complaint comes in about a teacher, it is investigated, and then the department leader works with the teacher to correct any inappropriate behavior.

The teacher is monitored, and his or her evaluation could be noted, Mr. Lindenfelser said, adding that if these steps did not work, the teacher could be reprimanded, suspended or, eventually, fired.

As for the request that Mr. Paszkiewicz correct his statements that conflict with the district’s science curriculum, “Sometimes, the more you dwell on the issue, the more you continue the issue,” Mr. Lindenfelser said. “Sometimes, it’s better to stop any inappropriate behavior and move on.”

The district’s actions have succeeded, he said, as the family has not reported any continued violations.

Bloggers around the world have called Matthew courageous. In contrast, the LaClairs said they had been surprised by the vehemence of the opposition that local residents had expressed against Matthew.

Frank Viscuso, a Kearny resident, wrote in a letter to The Observer that “when a student is advised by his ‘attorney’ father to bait a teacher with questions about religion, and then records his answers and takes the story to 300 newspapers, that family isn’t ‘offended’ by what was said in the classroom — they’re simply looking for a payout and to make a name for themselves.” He called the teacher one of the town’s best.

However, Andrew Lewczuk, a former student of Mr. Paszkiewicz, praised his abilities as a history teacher but said he regretted that he had not protested the religious discussions. “In the end, the manner in which Mr. Paszkiewicz spoke with his students was careless, inconsiderate and inappropriate,” he wrote to The Observer. “It was an abuse of power and influence, and it’s my own fault that I didn’t do anything about this.”

One teacher, who did not give his name, said he thought both Matthew and his teacher had done the right thing. “The student had the right to do what he did,” the man said. As for Mr. Paszkiewicz, “He had the right to say what he said, he was not preaching, and that’s something I’m very much against.”

Matthew said he missed the friends he had lost over his role in the debate, and said he could “feel the glares” when he walked into school.

Instead of mulling Supreme Court precedents, he said with half a smile, “I should be worrying about who I’m going to take to the prom.”

Perfect beginning to Thanksgiving!

Malinda took this photo of me and the turkey after we walked in the second annual Turkey Trots (sponsored by Bloomington Bagel Company). After Bob Z (my boss at the HT) told me about the Turkey Trots, we couldn't resist! Malinda, Gregg and I drove over to begin at 7 on the 5K walk/run. Walking through the quiet campus, along Dunn Meadow, was such a georgeous beginning to the day! Afterward, free bagels and coffee at BBC, and running into lots of friends. Even met some neighbors from our new neighborhood, friends of Bob Z, who I had never met before.

Then home to begin a tranquil and wonderful Thanksgiving Day...brunch with Lee, Eric, Ruthie, Gracie, Mom...a nap and playing around with the leaf vacuum for a while, as the kids and mom put together remaining dishes for dinner (I figured if I stayed inside, I'd be in charge and I wanted to empower the kids to do it. Adam did the stuffing and the noodles, Abby did the green bean cassarole. I had done the potatoes the night before, and Jordie did the turkey.) We bought pies and I had made cranberry walnut bread. I also made a big dish of fried potatoes and onions, ready for brunch.

So we had a good Thanksgiving dinner about 5, really relaxed, and then Jordie played a game with the kids while I read...then we watched TV together.

It was a wonderful day. The only thing that would have made it better would be if Amalia had been there, but we'll have her home soon for Chanukah!

Fourth Street Fair 2006

Abby was Bonnie's assistant this year at the Fourth Street Fair!

A blessing

Earlier this week, I learned that my good friend Vicki's chemotherapy would begin today (Friday). I was in a bit of a muddle, because the North open house was Wednesday and then we had a Renewal minyan meeting (alternative service at our synagogue, Beth Shalom) scheduled for our house Thursday night. AND, I had a Beth Shalom personnel committee meeting at 3:45...so, I emailed a few women friends. I made some soup in the crockpot and got home just as other women arrived. They brought salad, bread and hummus, drinks. We shared a meal at our dining room table, then as we finished eating, we passed -- one woman to the next -- a small bowl containing some shells which Vicki had gathered on the beach. As each woman held the small bowl in front of her, she gave a message of support and love to Vicki. Hopefully, Vicki will remember all the kind words whenever she looks at that little bowl of shells.

Then, we moved out onto the back porch. We held hands and breathed quietly for a minute, then I read aloud this healing meditation:

Healing Meditation --- by Ariel Neshama Lee

I wrote this healing meditation for a friend diagnosed with a brain tumor. It can be used for healing from pain, stress or grief by substituting these words wherever the word “tumor” appears. I wish to acknowledge my teacher and friend, Carol Rose, for her gifts of wisdom and light, which inspire my writing and my spirituality.
****************************************

Imagine that you are walking in the desert. You see a woman approaching you. This woman is Sarah. She gives you a candle that never goes out. Meditate on the flame. Feel the streams of light entering your body, penetrating every cell, becoming a part of you. This light is healing and energizing. Feel this light surround and envelop the cancerous cells in your body. Envision the light leaving your body, taking the cancerous cells with it.

Now you see another woman approaching you. This woman is Rivkah. She gives you a beautiful golden cup filled with sparkling water. Pour the water over your body. It becomes a waterfall. Feel it as it shines and shimmers with all the colors of the rainbow. Feel this water cleanse, soothe, and heal you as it washes any residue of the cancerous cells away.

Another woman approaches you. This woman is Rachel. She gives you a beautiful silk tallit with all the colors of the rainbow. Wrap yourself in the tallit. Feel the soft fabric caress you. Feel the Presence of Shekhinah all around you and within you. Feel the healing energy as you connect to the Divine Healer, Rofeh ha-Cholim.

You meet another woman. This woman is Leah. She gives you a beautiful flower. The flower bursts into full bloom. It becomes a part of you. Feel the flower fill the space where the cancerous cells were inside your body. Feel the space where the cancerous cells were fill with hope, rebirth and renewal.

The women join hands and make a circle around you and bless you. You thank them for the gifts. Know that these gifts will always be there for you. Call on them when you are afraid, tired, exhausted, and in need of healing. Know that Shekhinah is always there for you. Know that the Divine Healer neither slumbers nor sleeps and is always there for you, lifting you on Healing Wings and renewing your strength.

Then, a magical moment. Diane David gave to Vicki a new lithograph of Bruce's -- containing the Four Matriarchs! It just could not have been more perfect. Vicki loved it.

We then gathered around Vicki and laid our hands on her and sang the Misheberach blessing for healing.

I felt really lucky to have each woman as my friend.

I wish Vicki did not have to go through this, but I think she is really wise to be open about it and accept loving support from her friends and family.

August Panorama

Just stealing a few minutes before going home. Abby is up at North soccer game and Sue will give both Talia and Abby rides home.

Later tonight, Sue says she will give me a call and she and I will WALK!

I really like the class I'm taking -- F358 -- Jewish Identity. The prof is funny and interesting and really nice -- he spills over with fascinating stuff.

So, I have reading to do for the class, it's already 6:30 and I haven't left work, the bed in my office is full of clean laundry waiting for me to sort it and put it away...

But it is better to be busy.

I was thinking about that issue because two of us moms were standing around talking about how we were going to take some food to a friend who needs some loving care right now. And another person was telling us how she could not find time to help out, but maybe in the future. Not that we asked for help -- but evidently there was a need to make excuses. And both of us have husbands and kids and pets and work full-time and participate a lot in our respective faith communities...

I actually had a talk with Abby about that. About how life is always busy, but it's better to say "yes" when an opportunity for service is put in front of you. I don't know if that's a Jewish thing, but it feels like it is...

Of course, Abby is the kind of kid who, when she and Jordie came to help out with the Welcome Back Brunch at synagogue Sunday morning (I was chairing and so they automatically volunteered to come early with me and help set up) -- anyway, I said to her "Can you go handle the table in the front hall and greet people, help them make nametags?" And she just said "Sure" and went to do it. I was so grateful to have that kind of kid -- all three kids are that kind -- and several people said nice things to me about our beautiful and gracious daughter.

But there is a thing -- Jewish or not -- that, if one if fortunate in life -- you owe it to life to give back.

Anyway, August has been a colorful and interesting and busy and good and bad and happy and sad panorama.

The Jeffersons came and that was good in so many ways. Our house was full -- but it was relaxing and joyful. Nora and Rita have diamonds in their noses! It was just perfect to hang out with them.

One of my best friends, Vicki, had to have a mastectomy and I've been thinking about her all the time. She just found out the other day that it has NOT metasticized (sp?) and I realized I had been carrying a huge ball of dread around all week, waiting to hear the news. So, she will have to have chemo and radiation, but at least, a good prognosis for recovery.

And another good friend, Shirley, my retired boss who basically taught me everything about pagination and made my current life so enjoyable by hiring me and making this job possible for me...she fell down the stairs at home and hurt her head and I have been so worried about her. Jordie has been helping out by stopping by their house, too, as well as some other good friends of hers.

We drove to Chicago and met Amalia at O'Hare -- she and the younger kids took the train into town to Lollopalooza and Jordie and I took her suitcase and headed up to Ika and Shlomo's. We went out for a relaxed meal with them and spent the next couple of days with them...picking up the kids at the Deerfield train station after midnight, when they would return from Lollopalooza...and we went to IKEA and got some chairs, and we all went on a architectural river tour in downtown Chicago...and after we were home, we went to Clifty Falls for a night and Jordie and I took a canoe and the kids, all in kayaks, paddled for SEVEN MILES down the Blue River...it was so much fun. At one point, Abby was alone on the river ahead of us. She was singing the Three Dog Night version of "Joy to the World, all you boys and girls..."and keeping time with her kayak paddle...later in the week we rented a pontoon boat and spent the afternoon on Lake Monroe. Then a really great 25th anniversary party that Saturday night! So much fun for lots of friends to come and share food and memories and see the house...

A busy and happy month that slipped by in the blink of an eye (Adam would call me "oldie" for saying that!)

OK. Time for me to get home.

A very interesting day

The house is quiet. I can hear the air-conditioning running. A faint murmur of Jordie and his friends from the Community Justice and Mediation Center committee, talking downstairs.

And I can hear my mom, breathing a bit noisily, sleeping on the living room couch.

She had been in the hospital for a week. They diagnosed microscopic colitis. With an IV, she had begun to look and feel much better. They put her on medication which costs $400/month, but it has been helping with the terrible diarrhea, which is a symptom of that disease.

At the hospital, before she was released Friday, we all had the impression that an Americare nurse would be with her at home all day Saturday. Wrong.

The Americare nurse called at 3 p.m. Saturday. My mom was so upset that she told her not to come that day.

The nurse came this morning, several hours after Mom had been found in the lobby, not totally dressed. And upset and confused. We think that must have been the influence of the sleeping medication she had been given.

She had been without her medication for a full 24 hours, which was enough to start the horrible diarrhea again. And thanks to that very heavy-duty sleeping pill (we think) she fell so hard in the bathroom that she broke the toilet. It wouldn't work. So in desperation, she went down to the lobby to be close to a bathroom.

So, the nurse was helpful this morning, telling us about the medications, etc. And it was a big misunderstanding, I guess, that we thought she would have someone with her in the morning yesterday.

We brought her home with us. She thinks she is going home on Tuesday when we pick up Abby from the airport. But, Jordie says she should stay till her gastrointestinal thing is all better, and I agree. And if this should turn out to be for a longer time, or for good, we are ready for that possibility.

Now that she is at our house, Mom is perfectly coherent and it's good to have her there where we can help her out while she is ill.

Oh, and the Honda minivan chose to overheat just after we left Mom's. So, we left it at her house and brought her car.

And, I'm afraid to turn on the news to even see what has been happening in Israel right now. My heart is full of fear for our family and friends there.

I am sick about what is happening, and I don't have any answers about what is right or wrong. But I'm just worried.

Now, I must go finish cleaning up some stuff out of our bedroom, where Mom is going to sleep. I want to take a nap myself before I go to Vicki's tonight -- there is a prayer service at her house tonight, before she has her mastectomy tomorrow.

I could take a few boring days after this.

Mellow Shabbat, in spite of everything

Just had a wonderful evening, hanging out with my husband...

In spite of the past week just being one heck of a challenge (Carol, my office-mate, is on vacation; my mom has been in the hospital in southern Indy all week with what turns out to be microscopic colitis and I have been worried and have gone up there most days this week; busy with thinking about Beth Shalom stuff, too; car got fixed; washing machine broken; my foot hurts -- although less than it has; and terribly, terribly worried about what is happening in Israel; and over everything, worrying about my buddy Vicki, who has to have a mastectomy on Monday):

So, Rod was as helpful as he ever could be, volunteering to do the Sunday editorial page and I got out of work by 6 or so...normal for a Friday. So, I met up with Jordie and we went downtown, hoping to start the evening by looking at a peace art exhibit in the Showers Building. However, Showers was all locked up. We proceeded over to the Square, to see Jeremy Bazur's art show at the Wandering Turtle Gallery -- the show and the whole gallery were wonderful! We walked over to Roots, a vegetarian restaurant and had dinner...then over to South Washington Street to listen to a few minutes of music in the park and then to Jen Molica's art show at Boxcar Books. I want to commission her to do a piece for the Miriam collection, but not until the fall, when I can afford it. Catching up on bills this summer!

Now, Jordie is out giving Sadie a walk and I am going to bed soon! Roger Kugler is coming over in the morning to talk about the future fireplace mantle and surround, and I am so excited! He is going to loan me his "tile box" with a tile cutter and a book on how to do it, so we can do the tile for the fireplace in the living room. YAY!

Oh, but first....



This is the red-brick-with-white-frame-(but no mantle!)-fireplace in our living room. In front, on the hearth, you can see the blueish-greenish stone tiles that are going to be on the fireplace! And it will have a light wood mantle and surround. Bellissimo!



Amalia sent me this photo last Sunday when Abby had just arrived in Los Angeles, and they had gone to a movie together...along with leaving me a message that she was feeding our little girl from the three major food groups: Milk Dud, popcorn and nachos!



And the girls sent me this photo while they were trying on sunglasses!



This is a house I had been hunting for. Even last time when Sandy was here, she and I drove around looking. One summer, I was walking down West 14th Street, and I saw a guy named Odie, who I knew. He mentioned that he and his wife Beth needed to find a full-time babysitter for their new baby, Morgan, because Beth wanted to be able to work (she was a chef). So, I ended up babysitting that whole summer for Morgan, a sweet baby boy. I kind of wanted to find out if I could deal with little kids, since I had never really taken care of any. SO, Sandy used to come over there, as she was friends with them, also. And it was frustrating that we could not locate that house where I spent happy summer days with that sweet baby. After all, I was out of college already -- I should be able to remember. So, it was a relief to finally drive by that house and say "That's it!" I emailed the photo to Sandy with a note: "Found it." And I know she will understand!

When I heard a knock at the door, I did not answer...

Tonight, I was at home, just after work.

I was really, really tired.

I was really, really hot.

I was really, really crabby.

Jordie and I had a disagreement about money, and I was just thinking about how yucky I felt.

And I had only a few minutes before I had to leave for the Beth Shalom board meeting.

So, when I heard a knock at the door, I did not answer.

I just wanted to be alone.

Thank God, Jordie answered the door.

Because it was our little neighbor. He's just 6 or 7, I think. A beautiful boy. The son of our friends down the street. He somehow missed seeing his dad around the house, and so, when he didn't see his dad (who was, really, around there, making dinner, but somehow they missed each other). Anyway, when he didn't see his dad, he walked down the street to our house and knocked on the door.

Jordie gave him a big hug and then took him home.

What if I had been by myself and had not answered the door? It just gives me chills to think of a child being worried and me too busy to comfort.

What a lesson to not be so lost in myself.

One happy memory

I just had Abby email this photo to me from our home computer, because a friend at work is doing a page about pet owners and their pets. Kudos to Abby for knowing how to email a picture as an attachment! Our smart girl.

Anyway, this is Abby and a bunch of friends, getting ready to take our dog Gilbert on a walk down the road (that was her "job" back then).

Gilbert was a great dog who was part of our family for 14 years.

I love technology...

...because here I am, sitting in a Starbucks on Meridian Street, just north of Monument Circle, playing around on the laptop. While I've been sitting here, I've talked to Amalia on the cell phone (her "showcase" in front of theatrical agents this morning went fine -- they said she seemed really "real" in her conversations and that she is really pretty!) and I'm checking in periodically with Abby on her cell phone, as she wanders around with her friends Katie, Kimmie and Amy, in Circle Center Mall a couple of blocks away, blissfully trying on clothes! And here I am blogging...

For the past three or four days, I've been kind of sunk in a black depression. I could still work and function, and even had a very good time at my friend Deb's book release party for girlfriends...but when alone, I would feel hopeless, exhausted, weepy, overwhelmed. I wonder if that was a hormonal thing?

Luckily, I woke up this morning and felt much more like myself. I started doing some laundry, went to Esther Gaber's to pick up some blouses she is giving me (because they are moving to Meadowood), putting stuff aside for the neighborhood yard sale in a couple of weeks (a great opportunity, in my humble opinion, for us to get rid of much stuff that we brought from the old house and now have discovered...we didn't really need.

I want to get rid of the two-seater blue fold-out couch in my office. It's fine to sleep on, but as a couch, not so comfortable. I want to get a chair with a footstool from IKEA sometime this summer instead. And the yardsale will be a perfect opportunity.

A woman wrote me such a nice email, responding to my post on the neighborhood listserv. (I explained that our house is the one with the blue windmill in the yard, and that I had kept it after Dad died, because he loved it -- it reminded him of the windmill on the farm when he was growing up, which pumped water for the cows). Anyway, this woman told me that her kids love to walk by the windmill now! That made me feel so good!

Jordie and I are a little sad about the three hanging plants which were stolen out of our front yard the other day -- between 3 and 5 in the afternoon! All three were close to the street. We felt kind of really betrayed by fate to have someone do that! In our nice new neighborhood, too!

I have some concrete stuff that I want to accomplish during this quiet time, so I'll sign off now and get to work!

Unpleasant surprise

Just pulled up in front of our house, and the three hanging plants closest to the street are gone. Abby said "Maybe Daddy put them somewhere else to do something with them." But, I think they are just gone.

Now, that makes me want to move the stone bench away from the street. It's right at the front of our yard. Jordie put it there even though I asked him not to. It's the one from my parents' house on Barth Avenue.

We can put one of the other benches right by the street -- one that does not have any sentimental attachment.

Honestly, I feel like sending a message to the neighborhood listserve, saying, "If you see some yard that suddenly has a glorious, big, red geranium and another of purple and white petunias...they're ours!" But, of course, I wouldn't do that.

My ego is smooshed!

OK. In the middle of the night last night, I realized that I had not sent an email from work that I needed to send, asap! (An attached Power Point presentation to the Newspapers of America Association, so that they can have it ready for Bob when he gives the program at a conference soon.)

So, I headed over to the HT this morning, and on the way I stopped at McDonald's for coffee. And, the guy waiting on me was kind of new, so a manager stopped to help him on the register.

And she said: "Be sure to give her the SENIOR DISCOUNT!"

Aaargh!

She could have said "Oh, you're not eligble for the senior discount, are you?" but, no, she said it with conviction.

Ah, well.

Montclair = clear mountain

I've always liked this and now I picture it every time I see the name of our street -- Montclair -- which means "clear mountain" in French!


I have wondered and wondered about the origin of the name of our new street: Montclair. Most of the other streets in this addition have an English connection: Queen's Way, Sussex, Wimblton (yes, I know that is spelled incorrectly!) There's Rock Creek Drive, but that's self-explanatory....there must be a creek! However, when my friend Leslie was here, she reminded me that Montclair in French is "clear mountain." So now, every time I see the name on a street sign, I have this flash of a David Hockney painting that I like, of beautiful Mount Fuji.

I am looking at the beautiful white peonies on our dining room table, like a painting. Leslie bought them for us at the Farmer's Market Saturday.

It was a total joy to have Leslie here. She's is my oldest friend from high school. Through her, I met Jeannette and a whole gang of other friends who became our high school crowd, always hanging out at our house or her house. Barry, her husband, was speaking at a conference on China Saturday and so they both came down. Barry stayed with the other conference people, and Leslie stayed here.

Friday night, we drank a bottle of wine, sharing cheese and crackers and grapes on our back porch.

Saturday, we went out for breakfast, wandered around the Farmer's Market, and walked around campus -- down memory lane! (We shared an apartment with our friend Linda Sladek our sophomore year -- down on South Henderson.)

Leslie showed us a short film done by their son Spencer, who is in film school at NYU. It was called "Squirrel TV" or something like that -- and was really clever and funny. We put it on a CD so I can send it to Amalia.

At the same time while I have these nice reflections, I am also aching. Amalia's boyfriend Mike broke up with her last night, and she is aching, and so I am aching.

She is the most beautiful, kind, fun, smart, wonderful woman, and I hope that soon she runs across some man who will love her as she deserves....I don't think she'll try "jdate.com" again anytime soon, because she's feeling a little burned by this experience!

Megan, who has to be the best friend in the known universe, took a long walk with Amalia last night and I think they were planning to do another one tonight. Plus drink some wine. And maybe curse men in general.

If only I could afford to have her fly home for a few days...but in these situations, even a mom and dad might not be able to really help. A heartbreak just has to have time to heal.

But I so admire her strength and .... she's just such a trooper!

My neck and shoulders are aching, and I think I will go to bed. I didn't feel well at work this afternoon, and I think it was just the culmination of that achiness -- gave me a headache! Plus, I was at a very interesting and long meeting at Beth Shalom last night, then on the way home learned of Amalia's breakup on the phone. So, I didn't sleep well.

Perhaps some wine will help me, too, tonight.

Life is good...

OK. Jordie will not trim his beard nor his hair without a lot of nagging. BUT, when I came home from my Beth Shalom board meeting tonight, I was greeted with a plate of dinner waiting for me -- asparagus, salmon and sweet potatoes. So, I enjoyed that with a glass of wine...just thinking of how good life is. And how good my husband is.

I love sitting at the board meeting tonight. I like volunteer work, like being responsible. I spent the first part of my life being afraid to do anything, too insecure to think I could do anything. But one of the best surprises of adult life is that sometimes you have to just jump in and do it -- and forget that you thought you couldn't.

I had good news today from my sister Lee, all about how things are going with the last week of Ruthie and Gracie's high school at Cathedral. They are going to Loyola in Chicago in the fall. We're going to their graduation from Cathedral Sunday at Clowes Hall.

I love, love, love our new house. I love it that Jordie goes down the street to the little park to play tennis. I love lying in the living room and deciding what to do with the furniture.

I love it that I sit at the kitchen table and look out at the evergreens. (Just beside the window where I watch the sunrise in the morning, I hung a print by Jeremy Bazur called "Joe and the Sunrise." It's of a cup of coffee, and the sunrise, seen through the window. I think this double-sunrise view is pretty neat.)

I've been having all kinds of artistic ideas about the house. It's as if this move has loosened up, shaken up things, made us more free to change. Of course, it will be a while before I can afford to put those artistic ideas into reality!

Time to go to bed, but going to sleep with a smile on my face. Life is good.

Amalia's Pumpkin Ridge memories

While I am very happy that my family is moving into a
wonderful new house to make many new memories in, it
is a little bittersweet. When I was turning seven
years old, we moved to Indiana from Boston. One summer
later, we moved into the Benton court house. I
remember in Feb or March of that first year (when we
lived in the apt.) we got our first dog, Gillie. We
couldn't have Gillie in our apt, so some friends of
ours kept him at their house until we moved into the
new house in June. I remember our first night in the
house, when we didn't have the legs on the dining room
table yet, so we ate cross legged on the floor of the
dining room. We soon discovered that we had to hold
Gillie back when we opened the front door, otherwise
he would run outside to go frolick, and did not know
that running to the highway was a bad idea. So many
memories in that house...I remember one of Adam's
birthdays, where it was pirate themed, and Daddy
dressed up as a peg leg pirate, and for some reason I
dressed up as a clown and did tricks for the kids. I
don't think I was very amusing, seeing as I was only
four years older and did not know any real clown
tricks. But it was fun nonetheless.I loved that fact
that I was the big sister helping out. I remember the
"ropes course" that Dad set up for us in the woods to
the side of the house, with tires to climb through and
a balance beam and all sorts of other things. I
remember countless slumber parties I had, for
birthdays and halloween, and random other events. I
loved to have friends over for Shabbat dinner, and
they loved to come. We would always do the blessings,
and Mom would often make challah. We used to love to
go and spend summer afternoons at lake lemon, or
hiking through the woods behind the house (when I was
younger we would take the barbies down to the creek
and make them have swimming parties), or just hanging
out in the hammock under the trees. I remember one
time when I locked Adam and myself in the big bathroom
and cut his hair...I think after that incident the
lock may have been disabled on that door. When I was
older, and off in college I used to love to come home
occasionally on weekends to do laundry and hang out
in the peaceful house and eat home cooked food and
tell everyone what I was up to in school. It was
always such a lovely retreat to come home to, now
matter how fast life was going or how much work I had
to do, it always somehow felt more peaceful and
relaxing. Maybe it was all the trees and the fact that
the people who are most improtant to me were there. I
know that there will be wonderful memories made in the
new house as well, but I will always hold onto the
memories fn Pumpkin Ridge, because it is where I grew
up.

Pumpkin Ridge information

I'm having a fine Mother's Day! Reclining on the sofa, listening to the birds, resting my back. Yesterday, a work day at the old house for Jordie, Abby and me -- my back hurt intensely most of the time and I had to periodically go to sit in the car, with a cushioned seat. And my foot hurt very badly, too -- plantar's faschiitis, which is an inflammation of the tissues supporting the arch -- so that hurt, too. But, amazingly, yesterday, working together, was a really good day.

In the morning, Jordie met our buddy Tom Saucier and he took the canoe, and helped Jordie haul away an old reclining chair (gave it to a hospice patient who Jordie is volunteering with).

We had some stuff to get rid of...Jordie took a van-load of recycling to the Bethel Lane center. We are leaving the bins for recycling for Nicole and Dan, because, here, in the city, all we need are the two red recycling containers -- one for all papers, one for everything else.

And Jordie took a couple of van-loads to the trash, too. Abby and I cleaned. Dust-mopped the ceilings and corners, dusted all shelves, everywhere -- ran the sweeper, mopped the floors in Jordie's office, etc. And Abby even used the dust-mop on the ceiling of the back porch, and we cleaned off the table and the counter back there really well, and vacuumed! At the very end of the day, Jordie, Abby and I worked together to fix the screen door (do NOT buy one where the screen slides up and down in the door -- not easy to fix!) Abby had to stand for ages in her stocking feet on the cold front porch, holding the glass in place. I helped for some of the time, holding the door while Jordie worked, swearing and fixing...(rare for Jordie to swear!) Anyway, at the end of the day, Abby and I went into town, stopped at the house to get some shoes for her (hers had gotten really muddy) and went to Sunny Palace and ate, ate, ate! Hot and sour soup, veggie rolls, hot tea, and entrees, too! We brought home shrimp-fried rice for Jordie. He had stayed behind to put some closet doors on in the family room -- they needed to be planed down after the new carpet was installed last year.

So, this morning, Jordie is out at the house, getting the last few things, and, I imagine, taking a last quiet look at the home where we lived for 16 years, where our children grew up.

Below, I'm posting some photos of Pumpkin Ridge, because they are things we want to remember. And then, way, below, some useful information for living there!


When I saw these beautiful, huge living room windows, I knew the house was right for us. The light is beautiful, and the view....and the all-around-the-door shelves that Jordie made in the dining room -- those were great, and held so much stuff that the small kitchen just didn't have room for...











Jordie made these shelves for my birthday one year, working with Craig Benson -- this was our bedroom, and at each side of the bed, a little light -- plus, the shelves even curved around the corner, floor to ceiling. They are beautiful, and one of the best birthday presents ever.















Fixing the screen door, with Abby patiently standing on the cold porch (she could see her breath!), working together -- was one of those I'm glad we did it and it is good to work together but I am so glad it is finished! kind of experiences! Shelves to the left, built by Jordie, were great for shoes, mail, gardening gloves, flashlights, kippot -- and even space to sit on to put on one's shoes! And books to take back to the library, and stuff waiting till we figured out what to do with it...












The little TV room, in the bedroom-formerly-known-as-Adam's, with a couch under the loft, was a cozy place to curl up. And the view out the windows was very good for day-dreaming! And this was the room where Amalia always stayed when she came home for visits, seeking a little privacy....and where Adam would still go up to the loft and take a nap!












We gave this room to the girls to share after Abby was born. The wallpaper had little blue flowers in it, and Jordie painted one wall this incredibly beautiful blue!









Jordie made this really clever under-the-cabinet shelf for cutting boards, because in the kitchen, storage space was valuable!

















Big bathroom, scene of many small girls dressing up, etc.! With more built-in shelves, made by Jordie! And that great walk-in shower...













Now, to business. Here are some handy hints for living at 4420 N. Benton Court!

---The little store (formally known as "Lakeside IGA" although it is not near to Lake Lemon) is open at 6 or 6:30 a.m., seven days a week. It closes at 8, except on Sunday, when it closes at 6. Most holidays, it's open in the morning. It has Ben and Jerry's ice cream, and you can order sandwiches at the back counter. The chicken is good there, and in the summer, you can buy LOCALLY-GROWN tomatoes and corn!

---The Bethel Lane dump/recycling center is open at 7 a.m. on Saturday, Monday and Wednesday. They close at 6.

---Best way to get to the Indy airport: From east Ind. 45, turn right on Bethel Lane (just past the little store). Turn right on Boltinghouse Road (think that's the second road off Bethel). Go to the end of Boltinghouse and turn right on old Ind. 37. Go until you reach Sample Road on the left (there's a red barn in the field just past Sample Road, so you can spot it easily). Go on Sample Road until you get to Hwy. 37,and turn north.

Just before Martinsville, turn right on Ind. 39. Take 39 through town to Ind. 67. Take 67 north to 465 West. When you get on 465, it's just a couple of minutes until you take the airport exit.

---I always told everyone to be careful exiting the Danny Smith Addition onto Ind. 45 -- you cannot see well if traffic is coming from the left and need to be careful! (Of course, in 16 years, nobody ever had an accident there, but still, it's good to be careful!)

---If you hear feet walking through the woods at night, it's probably deer.

---You will see lots of deer, and hummingbirds. A hummingbird sounds like a VERY LOUD bumblebee, so don't be startled!

---In 16 years, I only saw a black snake twice -- both times in the front yard. They are harmless.

---If you leave the house, walk down the street, all the way down Benton Drive to the end, turning right on Viking Ridge Road to the end and then even down the little extension past that cul-de-sac, and back home, it's two miles. So, a good half-an-hour walk.

---You can hear the tornado sirens when they go off -- they are situated at that church near the little store.

---If you turn right on Ind. 45 you can drive all the way to where it comes to an end -- at Bean Blossom, Hwy 135. You can turn right and go to Nashville, or left and go to Morgantown, Bargersville, Trafalgar, Greenwood...It's a very pretty, but wind-y, drive.

---If you put out suet, you will attract pileated woodpeckers.

---If you ever hear a sound as if a jackhammer is pounding on the house, it's a pileated woodpecker.

---You can sometimes hear coyotes howling.

---That tree just behind the little room is a male holly tree. I always wondered if a female tree were added, would it bloom? But never got around to looking it up.

---You can take a short-cut to get to North high school/Cascades Park/Old 37 by going all the way to the end of Bethel Lane.

---Lake Lemon is about 10 minutes away, driving. Off east 45, turn left on Tunnel Road.

---Oh, and Jordie can give you some safety tips about using the woodstove. When you have a fire in there, once in awhile the stove will make a loud "clang!" This is normal! It's from the metal expanding, or contracting...and the wood stove will warm the whole house, really well, especially if you use that fan in the wall to the left of the woodstove...

As we cleaned yesterday, the house was full of memories -- the bat mitzvah for Amalia when we rented three huge tents and covered the whole yard...and had a band and dancing...the high school graduation party for Amalia when we rented tables and O2R set up in the driveway and we danced...graduation open houses for Amalia and then for Adam....Jordie's dad, who finally came to live with us near the end of his life, sittng on the front porch and telling us that it was, indeed, paradise out there...setting up a borrowed crib in the big bedroom, changing it over from our bedroom to a room for the girls to share....the baby-naming ceremony for Abby, held in the living room, packed full of friends, reading poetry, blessings, etc. and Abby sleeping peacefully through the whole thing! Many happy evenings with friends around the dining room table...

I must stop and go to get cleaned up, to have dinner with my mom up in Greenwood.

Many happy years to Dan and Nicole in the house at 4420 N. Benton Court!

Moving is Hell II

Jordie and Adam just pulled up with the rental truck. I did not go to the old house to load up, because my back has been very sore this week (perhaps moving that bookcase by myself last week was foolish) and my foot is incredibly painful...our friend Mike says it may be my tendon. It's been so painful sometimes this week that I can barely walk on it. Today, I keep sitting down and massaging my foot every so often, to try to prevent that pain. I felt as if I were ancient this week, hobbling around! So I stayed here and put some hooks up in the walk-in closet in our bedroom, put a bunch of stuff away, cleaned up, put in some laundry, etc. I found my sewing machine and am going to make the cushion covers for the bamboo chair.

But, I don't even dare look at what Jordie and Adam are unloading from the truck into our garage, because if I do, we are going to have a fight. I asked him to not, not, not bring a bunch of junk from the old garage over to our new house. And, of course, he has. Because, to him, it's not junk -- it's possibilities. I don't even want to see.

Jordie and our friend Gregg moved the great fridge (that Mom bought for me just a couple of years ago, when she inherited some money) from the old house to the new house, and moved the fridge from the new house to the old house. It was an ordeal, and I can't believe they did it. Had to take the doors off the fridge...quite a production. Gregg's good humor helped that situation a lot!

This house is wonderful, and it's so much fun to see what is coming up this spring! I'm going to post a beautiful photo taken from the window of the "Miriam" room (my office/guest room, where I have my collection of Miriam prints hanging).


View out the front of the house, onto Montclair Ave. Springtime! Most of the front yard is a garden, planted with perennials. I love the way it looks to come home to -- much prettier than lawn! And I love the way the front walk winds through the garden -- in a way that my friend Bonnie says is very good, feng shui-wise! That thought makes me smile every time I come home. And I love that dogwood!


Here I was, feeling crabby, and Abby just came in to say that dad wants to know where to put the stone bench. (It was in the backyard at my childhood home on Barth Avenue, and then at my parents' retirement house...then at the edge of the garden at Pumpkin Ridge...and now will be in the front yard someplace, in the garden here. I told Abby to tell dad to surprise me.) OK, he might have brought more stuff here than I wanted, but he did bring the stone bench for me, and the fridge, which was so much work...and I feel so awful, that I could not help haul today. And Adam and Abby have been real troopers, helping today. Especially Adam, because he is grown, and strong, and I feel so sorry for him, because he is still exhausted from just being finished with finals.

My back is really hurting. I'm going to lie flat for a while!

Pumpkin Ridge thoughts

Last Saturday, we worked at the old house, preparing to turn it over to Nicole and Dan. Among other things, I cleaned the big bathroom really, really well....scrubbed every square inch, inside the drawers, all the ceiling I could get to, the floor, the walls, etc. It was almost kind of like saying "good-bye." Very cleansing experience, and not only the scrubbing! I thought so much while I was in there...I thought of soon after we moved there, when Shoshana, Jordie's mom, was staying with us. She talked about how much she liked that shower -- you could just walk into it, so easy, and the weather was so hot that we were all taking several showers per day! (That was before Jordie and I worked out our "If it's over 90 degrees, the air conditioning is on" compromise!)

And I thought of how many little girls have crowded into that bathroom, both Amalia and Abby's friends (we gave the big bedroom and bathroom to the girls to share after Abby was born). So many girls, jockeying for the mirror space, putting on make-up and play clothes. Girls huddling in the bathroom for secret conversations during slumber parties....later, after Abby got the video camera, girls would be dressing up in there for a dance routine to be filmed.

We've been having other memories, too, now that we are letting go of that house. The pirate birthday party for Adam, with treasure hidden in the woods, Jordie with one leg tied behind him to be a pegleg pirate...an obstacle course in the woods...the kids walking Gilbert down the road many times...many picnic dinners in the front yard...potlucks on the back porch with little white twinkling lights...kids reading in the hammock. I'll add more memories below later, and if the rest of the family wants to email me a paragraph or so of memories of the house, I'll post those as well.

Night.

What we've been up to...

Let's see. Our first day in this house was March 6. Since then, we have had 22 people for Passover; a Shabbat with Jo (Andy out of town), Bonnie and Lee, Vicki and Gal; Mom came down for a day with her friend Dee; we have had a Shabbat dinner with the Barons, Baron-Caudills, and part of the Sauciers; we have hosted two Israeli teen violinists for a week, which involved much running around; and we have hosted Jenny Rosenbaum, and during her visit had the Gabers and the Goldsteins over for a Shabbat. So, it's been busy but joyful! I'm going to post a few recent photos.











Uzi, Amit and Mei in the kitchen, eating and speaking Hebrew!













Karin (cellist, who stayed with the Kerler family), Miriam Kerler, Amit, Abby Shifriss, Mei, in front of the IU Auditorium after their performance.










Mei, Karin and Amit with Thomas Lowenheim, their conductor (from the Musical Arts Youth Orchestra, and a wonderful guy).















Jordie and Abby with Mei and Amit -- dinner on our back porch.
















Abby, just after her jazz dance performance on April 23, just before heading over to the IU Auditorium to see our houseguests, Mei and Amit, perform with the Musical Arts Youth Orchestra.

My favorite Olympic guy

Detroit Free Press
MICHAEL ROSENBERG: Cheek decides charity tops win
$25,000 donated to Right to Play

BY MICHAEL ROSENBERG
FREE PRESS COLUMNIST

February 14, 2006

TORINO, Italy -- One way or another, the race was going to end with a gift.

As Joey Cheek loosened up before the final 500-meter race of his life, his girlfriend, Eleanor Collins, sat in the stands, knitting a scarf. She planned to give it to him for Valentine's Day.

Cheek had something much bigger in mind.

But first he had to finish skating.

Cheek won the gold medal Monday by two-thirds of a second, the speedskating equivalent of a three-touchdown blowout. Then the 26-year-old from North Carolina made real news: He would take his entire gold-medal bonus from the U.S. Olympic Committee and give it to Right to Play, an organization dedicated to improving the lives of kids in disadvantaged parts of the world.

"I think that's $25,000," Cheek said. "I've never won a gold medal, so I don't know."

It is indeed $25,000. (I've never won a gold medal either, but I looked it up.) And Cheek might give even more, because if he wins a medal in the 1,000-meter race Saturday, he'll donate that, too.

Of course, he could have donated his winnings without telling anybody. But Cheek wants to get the word out, and he is calling on Olympic sponsors to match his donation, which should bring hundreds of thousands of dollars to Right to Play. (You can help too: Go to www.righttoplay.com and click "Donate" under "how to help.")

"In the Darfur region of Sudan, there have been tens of thousands of people killed," Cheek said. "My government has labeled it a genocide. I will be donating it specifically to a program to help refugees in Chad, where there are over 60,000 children who have been displaced from their homes."

A few days ago, while he could have been thinking about his chance at gold, Cheek walked into the Right to Play office in the Athletes Village. He wanted to make sure the money would really go to the kids, instead of administrative costs or red tape. And while he was there, he ran into Johann Olav Koss, who just happens to be Joey Cheek's hero.

Twelve years ago, Koss won three gold medals in Lillehammer. Then he got to work. He founded a charity, Olympic Aid, which became Right to Play.

Cheek and Koss sat down for a cup of coffee -- a gold medalist and a gold-medalist-to-be, in the Athletes Village at the Olympics, talking about children in the Sudan.

"I love what I do," Cheek said. "It's a great job. I've seen the entire world, and I've met amazing friends.

"But honestly, it's a pretty ridiculous thing. I mean, I skate around the ice in tights, all right? If you keep it in perspective, I've trained my whole life for this, but it's really not that big a deal. But because I've skated well, and because I now have 15 seconds of microphone time, I have the ability to raise some awareness and raise some money."

A pretty ridiculous thing?

Doesn't this guy have an agent?

A golden gesture

It's strange. We came into these Olympics talking about Bode Miller, who complains that the Games are all about money and medals, instead of the Olympic ideal. Then Joey Cheek comes along and wraps his money, his medal and the Olympic ideal into one giant package and hands it to us.

A couple hours earlier, Cheek seemed like just another medal hopeful in a not-quite-full skating rink. When he finished his first race (the 500 is a combination of two timed races), he was way out in front of the field, and he exulted.

It seemed like he knew he could win gold. He knew so much more.

Collins went down to the ice between races to say hi to her boyfriend and give him a kiss. She and her family wore shirts with "The Fastest Cheeks On Ice" written on them. Eleanor's sister, Kirsten Collins, and Kirsten's friend, Carissa Wodehouse, are also here blogging about their Olympics adventure.

It is the kind of support that comes with only the best intentions. But it can make an athlete feel like if he sneezes, the universe will shake. And for a day, why not feel that way? How many of us ever do anything as cool as win a gold medal? Why not bask for a day?

Here is why not:

"I've learned how news cycles work," Cheek said, "and I've learned that there is a gold medal tonight, and tomorrow there's another gold medalist. So I could take the time and discuss how wonderful I feel, or I could use it for something productive."

Mission accomplished. As soon as Cheek opened his mouth at the postrace news conference, you could feel the average heart rate speed up in the room. Reporters from the biggest papers in the United States were there, along with NBC cameras, and Cheek had just dropped a wonderful story in our laps. And we could all be pleased about it, because this isn't just a feel-good story -- it is a story you feel good writing. All of us. As Wodehouse said, "Our blog is gonna rock!"

How unselfish was this announcement? Well, after a decade of competitive skating, Cheek will start college in the fall -- possibly at an Ivy League school -- and the four-year bill will probably come to at least $200,000. So it's not like he has $25,000 stuck in the corner of his wallet.

But the $25,000 is only a small piece of it. On the biggest speedskating day of a life dedicated to speedskating, Cheek decided this would not be a speedskating story.

A speedskating circle

This is a speed-skating story. Four years ago, in Salt Lake City, Kalamazoo native Kip Carpenter surprised everybody by taking bronze in this very event. Carpenter went on Jay Leno. A young woman named Brittany Merchant was watching and concluded that Carpenter was "hot."

Merchant looked Carpenter up online. She e-mailed with him. A year later, she finally went to Salt Lake City to meet him, and for moral support, she brought her best friend, Eleanor Collins.

Carpenter and Merchant never dated. But Eleanor and Joey have been together ever since.

"She's really good about keeping him on task on some things," said Joey's mother, Chris. Eleanor is the organized one. Joey is the dreamer. But this time, Joey stayed on task himself.

When Joey Cheek said he was taking advantage of his 15 seconds of microphone time, he meant it: He announced his gift because that was the best way to get matching donations. He didn't do it just so everybody would think he was a great guy.

Heck, before he had his microphone time, he barely talked about his plan.

To anyone.

"He said he wanted to help out," Eleanor said after Joey's announcement. "I figured he'd just volunteer his time."

Contact MICHAEL ROSENBERG at 313-222-6052 or rosenberg@freepress.com.

Copyright © 2005 Detroit Free Press Inc.



Giving to others is Cheek's gold standard
By Tom Weir, USA TODAY

TORINO — Speedskater Joey Cheek regularly gives reporters lessons on how a length of PVC pipe, a can of hair spray and fire can be employed to make a cannon that launches potatoes 300 feet.

The T-shirts his friends are wearing at the Winter Olympics say, "Fastest Cheeks on Ice." And the self-described bookworm is the first to acknowledge that his last name, appropriately, rhymes with geek.

But the often-comical Cheek turned serious Monday after his runaway victory in long-track speedskating's 500 meters. (Related: Cheek skates his way to gold)

Cheek, 26, announced he won't keep the $25,000 that the U.S. Olympic Committee awards to gold medalists. Instead, he will donate it to a program to help the thousands of Sudanese children who have been turned into refugees by warlords.

With the gesture, Cheek is attempting to follow in the steps of his idol, Johann Olav Koss.

After Koss' triple gold medal performance in the 1994 Lillehammer Winter Olympics, the Norwegian donated prize money to Olympic Aid, a humanitarian organization that helped war victims in the 1984 Winter Olympic city of Sarajevo.

"The things he has done have been an absolute inspiration to me," Cheek said. "He has lived his life in the manner that I hope to live my life."

Olympic Aid since has been renamed Right to Play, and Koss serves as president and CEO. Cheek has designated that his 500-meter prize money go to help youth programs for the Sudanese at refugee camps in Chad.

UNICEF's website says 1.4 million Sudanese children, including 500,000 age 5 or younger, have been displaced from the Darfur region by militia groups that have destroyed villages.

"For me, the Olympics have been the greatest blessing," Cheek said. "I always felt that if I ever did something big like this I wanted to be prepared to give something back."

That chance seemed possible in late January, when Cheek won the World Sprint Championships.

Going into the 2002 Winter Olympics he had never medaled in an international competition yet took a surprise bronze medal in the 1,000. With the World Sprints championship — won despite arriving in the Netherlands from the USA with just two days to prepare — Cheek knew he again was on a perfectly timed roll.

"I thought I might actually have a shot at doing something great at the Olympics, and if I did, I wanted to make it meaningful," Cheek said.

Trying to put his skating fame in perspective, Cheek said, "What I do is great fun. I love what I do. It's a great job. I've seen the entire world and I've met amazing friends."

Then he added: "Honestly, it's a pretty ridiculous thing. I mean, I skate around on ice in tights, right?"

By Olympic standards, Cheek won the 500 with ridiculous ease.

The results were determined by combining the times from two rounds of the 500. Of the 37-man field, Cheek's times of 34.82 and 34.94 seconds were the day's only sub-35-second performances.

"I don't know how I skated that fast," Cheek said. "I'm grateful that I did. I've always dreamed I would skate that fast."

The key to his recent racing, he said, is that he has been more relaxed than ever.

Cheek said he arrived in Torino in a comfort zone, because he already had an Olympic medal.

"This Olympics has been 10 times easier for me," Cheek said last week. "The only impression I want to leave is just how grateful I am to get this chance again."

That inner peace grew after talking with Koss during the weekend and putting his donation plan in place. At the starting line, he was skating as much for those African children as himself.

"I think on some level it is empowering to think of somebody other than yourself," Cheek said.

Cheek glided through both rounds while other greats struggled. World recordholder Joji Kato of Japan placed sixth. The USA's Casey FitzRandolph, the defending gold medalist, slipped in the first round and placed 12th.

Cheek's mother, Chris, wasn't surprised by her son's donation.

"He's always been willing to take a stand and speak up for what's right," she said. "If there was a kid that somebody was picking on, he would be nice to that kid."

But, with a smile, she also addressed her son's nerdy side.

"He was really geeky," she said. "If he hadn't had skating, he wouldn't have been a well-rounded person, I don't think."

She added that she gave Cheek a copy of Jonathan Livingston Seagull when he was in the sixth grade in Greensboro, N.C., and that he still reads it before races.

"It's all about the journey, working hard and taking the risk," she said.

Cheek's girlfriend, George Washington University business major Eleanor Collins, also addressed Cheek's quirks. She noted the only thing Cheek wears beneath his racing skinsuit is Bjorn Borg underwear, sold only in Europe. Collins said she got a little tired of seeing him rotating the same two pairs.

"In the last year, he ripped a hole in both pairs," Collins said. "So I got him new ones when I was over in Sweden and gave them to him for Christmas."

Cheek's next speedskating journey will be Saturday in the 1,000, where he's considered a stronger competitor than in the 500. If he medals again, that prize money also will go to Right to Play.

After that, he'll have the World Cup finals, then be headed into skating retirement and his first days as a college student.

He has been turned down by Harvard, but he has applications pending at Yale, Stanford, North Carolina, Georgetown and Duke.

"I don't know who will let me in," Cheek said. "I hope somebody will."

After his performance and generosity Monday, one guesses there will be a few takers.

Moving is hell!

Just a note in case any of my good buddies look, because I have been completely neglectful...now the move-in date is looming, and the packing has to intensify...HAS to! Boxes everywhere. I've been sick with some kind of bug for a few days. I was out of sorts and aching Friday, but made it through the busiest day. Came home, too out of it to eat, went to bed, and then was sick all weekend, aching and headachy and chilling.

THe only thing I accomplished was to try and understand curling (on the Olympics). still don't.

This afternoon I got itchy and packed a few boxes full of videos. Abby did the DVDs. Late in the afternoon I realized that the dump was probably open -- not closed on President's Day. I quickly dumped a couple of big recycling containers -- all unsorted -- into trash bags, emptied wastebaskets into trash bags, and took six orange bags to the dump. (My mom says I won't go to hell for putting recycling in the trash this one time.)

Then, I came home and would not let myself rest until I had put three white bags (for charity) in the car, plus 7 or 8 boxes, to go to new house tomorrow. If I just do SOMETHING every day...

But nagging at me is the fact that I have not answred five or six emails from girlfriends, wanting to know how on earth I am and I am too tired mentally to answer individually. My head hurts really badly but I AM going to the Y in the morning and to work and to the Beth Shalom board meeting -- it's making me crazy to lie around at home.

Bye for now, and hope sanity returns soon to my life and our house!

Message to my girlfriends

I am writing this message as a public service to my girlfriends!

Once, last year, I was looking around on the net to see if I saw anything that would be good for my skin...I was unhappy with how coarse and yucky my skin looked. Some of the astringent stuff I had was just too harsh. I remembered that when I was younger, people used to say how beautiful my skin was. So, it made me sad when my son actually teased me about the big pores on my nose.

So, I found this stuff. It was kind of expensive, but I bought it and used it, and really liked it. Then, I talked myself out of buying more because of the price.

Then, again this year, I decided to get some. All right, the bottle costs $40. But, I started using my new bottle on Nov. 7. I just put on a teeny bit all over my face after I shower in the morning. I gave Amalia a pill-bottle-full to take home with her and try. And now, January 10, that bottle is a little less than half-gone. So, it works out to a little less than $10 per month, I figure.

My skin looks better than it has in years. The pores are smaller, my skin is more clear, and definitely tighter. I even think that the flesh under my chin has tightened up a little. I can look at my nose and not cringe. And it's not exactly astringent; it's milder than that, but it feels great to put it on my face.

And tonight Amalia called, telling me that she LOVES this stuff.

I had told her that for the first few days, if you have a little blackhead or something, the stuff seems to bring it out. The first week I used it I got a pimple, which is unusual for me. But after that, my skin just feels BETTER. Amalia told me that she discovered that, if one is getting a pimple, put a bit of the stuff on at night, and it's better by morning.

So, OK, go to the website if you want and get some. (I only wish there were some price break for buying this stuff in bulk!)

http://www.dadairs.com/I.html