Approaching Abby's bat mitzvah

I picked Abby up from her Torah tutoring session today. If Amy, Abby's tutor, weren't such an incredibly kind person, I would be embarrassed that I started to cry when I listened to Abby finish her reading. I said "If only your Saba and Sapta had lived long enough to hear you do this...." and Amy said "They will." And somehow, I do believe that they will know.

Abby's bat mitzvah is not until June 11, and Amy says Abby is doing really well with the cantillation and the chanting....not that I would know! I'm just the driver to the lessons!

This time of life, approaching Abby's -- the last of our kids -- bat mitzvah is emotionally loaded for me, and not in a bad way. In a good way! These big occasions are a chance to look back.

I remember, all the time, Amalia's bat mitzvah, back when we didn't yet belong to synagogue. Three huge tents covered our front yard. So many friends and family sat through the hot morning -- the air was shimmering with heat and joy. When we look at the videotape, there are my dad, Jordie's mom and dad, Daniel's mom Sylvia -- all gone now. A man who used to work at Harmony School -- I've forgotten his name -- loaned me a little Macintosh computer so I could do the book for the ceremony at home.

At Adam's bar mitzvah, we had a telephone on the bima, and Jordie's mom and dad dressed up in their best to sit at the dining room table in New Jersey and listen to the whole service. (Jordie had earlier flown to New Jersey with Adam so that Adam could do his Torah reading for Shoshana and Oved. Shoshana was already sick enough that she could not travel.)

At Amalia's bat mitzvah, none of my non-Jewish relatives, except of course my parents and my sister and her family, came to the service. We realized that we had not really communicated that a bat mitzvah is as important as a wedding in Jewish life.

So when Adam's bar mitzvah came around, Aunt Matilda and Uncle Ray, along with my mom and dad, not only came to the service, but showed up EARLY to see what they could do to help. That memory is especially sweet now that my dad and Uncle Ray are gone. And my sister making a bunch of food for after the service, and her husband Eric running errands for us that afternoon...

I am so grateful, now that the kids are grown, that we gave them the gift of a Jewish community, Jewish ritual, and the gift of wonderful occasions with so many people helping, and being glad for them. I'm grateful for all the times lately when I hear Jordie teaching Abby about Judaism and so much else.

So these months, approaching Abby's bat mitzvah, are like wrapping myself in a tallit made of memories.

Thank you, God, for giving me life and sustaining me and letting me live until this time.