Feeling awful about the cat

I gave away one of our cats today. I feel as if my heart has turned to stone. Jordan had been asking me to for months. It was a total mistake for me to bring the cat home without talking to anyone in my family first.

I put an ad in the paper, and the people who called first got lost on the way to our house. So I drove, with Abby, over to theirs. And they were perfectly nice. They were pleasant and friendly. It's just that there were cigarette butts in ashtrays at their house, and it just was...well, I thought, are they going to take good care?

But the only way I would have felt good is if it had been some elderly lady who would treat Lila like a queen.

I mean, what could I say in an ad: "Must be non-smoker, have undergraduate degree, pass credit check."

Well, I didn't and now it's done.

Our house will be quieter and Jordie will feel better. And I won't have to worry about the cat being up on the counter (our other two don't do that) and won't have to worry about the cat messing up the oriental sand garden that Jordan made in our dining room.

I did tell them that if it didn't work out, they could always reach me at my newspaper office, and that I would find the cat another home if necessary.

But I feel just awful. I'm going to drink some wine and try to sleep.